Once a week, we open up the logs — which, contrary to popular belief, are not kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnalls’ porch — and hunt down anything marginally joke-worthy. It’s a nasty job, but someone has to do it.

Windy Skirt Sexy Thong Ass:  And this was one of the reasons why it’s nasty.

granny wears mini skirt:  Probably not a thong, though, but you’ll have to wait for the wind to pick up to be sure.

how to save the CD4E transmission:  If you have to ask, it’s already too late.

bore is 86 stroke is 86 how many liters is this 4 cylinders:  Um, two. I had a girlfriend like this once; when she was stroked, she was bored.

iq male v’s female:  About the same overall, though if they’re standing together and she’s cute, his drops by half a dozen points.

is russell westbrook of haitian descent:  The Haitian section of Los Angeles, maybe. You want an NBA player from Haiti, look up Samuel Dalembert.

[Note: A similar query, from a different location, came in for Kevin Durant. Someone really wants to find Haitian ballers.]

ten foot pole that fits in your pocket:  You’d better have very deep pockets, or be as tall as Samuel Dalembert.

sith happens baby:  I find your lack of foresight disturbing.

teeny doing it:  Yeah, but it’s too small to see.

take a pomeranian bowling:  Poor little dog weighs less than the ball, but them’s the breaks.

girls bra in guys mouth:  Um, guys, you’re doing it wrong.

what kind of pantyhose does maria bartiromo wear:  The kind that doesn’t melt under TV-studio lights, I hope.

worcestershire sauce false positive:  Must have been stray traces of anchovy.

If you’ve ever shaken down a server log, trying to steal its lunch money, this is the weekly feature for you.

mercedes benz mid life crisis:  This usually happens after the warranty is up and little (but expensive) things start to break.

craigslist casual encounter pictures of live oak and lake city florida:  Were I to have what craigslist defines as a “casual encounter,” I sure as hell wouldn’t be posting pictures of it.

washington wizard penis logo:  Which hardly seems necessary: the Wizards don’t have quite as much experience with dick moves as do some of the higher-ranked NBA teams.

summer words that you don’t hear often:  ”Blizzard” comes most readily to mind. (And it’s not like we’re near a Dairy Queen or anything.)

no fat chicks car may scrap car sticker:  I have no idea what this means, but I have reason to believe this guy’s dance card is not exactly overflowing, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

how to provoke discussion:  Start with a bald statement with intent to insult — for instance, “no fat chicks.”

youtube horney sexy drooling tongue:  That narrows it down to about four million music videos.

ponyville oklahoma:  Disincorporated in the 1930s when no one was left to serve in the Mare’s office.

Air Boner:  Home of the original Mile High Club.

beware the righteous man:  Indeed. He might actually believe in something, and who the hell is going to vote for that?

characteristics of a genius blog:  For one, it has such a wealth of material that it can afford to waste a post every week on mere search strings.

The recipe for this Monday-morning breakfast feature: Select eight to 12 particularly silly search strings from the previous week’s system logs. Add snarky commentary as needed. Present around 7 am, give or take half an hour. Goes well with: cereal, sausage, that first desperately-needed cup of coffee. Does not go well with: dachshunds.

is it friday:  No. It’s Monday. Now move along.

a sedan anvil:  This attempt by Acme metallurgists to produce an anvil that could be carried by four men, thereby making it at least theoretically portable, failed when they couldn’t find four men who could carry it.

what does tote that barge mean:  Obviously asked by someone whose body has never been aching and/or wracked with pain.

what does it mean “i have scaled these city walls”:  I managed to climb up one side and down the other, only to be with you, and now my body is aching and wracked with pain.

Girls hunting with bow in undergarments:  How the bow got into their undergarments, they’ll never know.

zooeymania:  How we’re supposed to get into her undergarments, we’ll never know.

what is faith hill’s inseam measurement:  How generous of you to offer to make pants for her.

what looks nice with orange shoes:  Faith Hill in flared pants.

hell no button:  Something sorely lacking in most dialog boxes.

paranoia is good:  Which one of my enemies sent you here with that?

which vehicles have dip sticks:  At any random club on a Saturday night, probably all of them.

Mondays wouldn’t be Mondays without a romp through the server logs in search of mockable material. Then again, as John Phillips says, “can’t trust that day,” and upwards of 50 times a year, we are afforded the opportunity to prove it.

how is diet fanta sweetened:  Like most such drinks, excessively.

somebody with no knee cap:  How about New NFL Action Barbie?

romantic movies about jerks:  Because, you know, the Healing Power of Love is supposed to make them less jerkish.

anime hot invisible girl wants to help:  How did you determine that she was hot?

hot bitch bra:  How did you determine that it was hot?

mitt romney sing backwards:  Oddly, it doesn’t sound any different.

what is a pink hotel a boutique and a swinging hot spot:  Daily Double: “Joni Mitchell made enough from ‘Big Yellow Taxi’ to buy these.”

all legs of sarah michelle gellar:  Far as I know, there are only two.

fluttershy sounds like marilyn monroe:  Although it would never occur to Fluttershy to put her hooves all over you.

ann coulter dirty and slutty in pantyhose:  Although it would never occur to Ann to put her hooves all over you.

It’s time once more to poke around in the system logs for the last week and see if anybody’s search strings will serve as the humorous part of your complete Monday-morning breakfast. (Hey, it could happen, right?)

credibility of biogift anatomical:  As with bio-anything, if it smells funny when you open the package, it’s credible.

sandy posey born a woman chauvinist:  I doubt Sandra Lou would have had any truck with the likes of M. Chauvin, who by most accounts was a real (or a fake) asshat.

brakdown of a 1999 cd4e transmission:  That’s why modern freeways have a breakdown lane.

rainbow dash guitar:  Whatever the song, she can play it in ten seconds flat.

stop dreamhost installer robot from upgrading wordpress:  If you did these upgrades yourself, the Installer Robot would completely ignore you.

bat cracker:  So apparently there are some, um, unexpected branches on Bruce Wayne’s family tree.

i had a dream last night with stuart ashton staples:  Was it good for you? Because I’m sure it was good for him.

nofaces n ass modules:  Already compiled for the next Kardashians reality series.

picture of scratches on girls nice legs:  Aren’t you the same guy who wanted the mustache on the Mona Lisa?

thomas kinkade prince of peace worth anything:  Surely it must be worth something. All those vendors who sell paintings by the square foot seem to be surviving.

why is mitt romney wooden:  Purely a chemical reaction: he’s allergic to nonprecious metals.

Some of you have read about Big Farking Storms that descended upon us during the weekend, and yes, the carnage was dire in some locations, but less so in others. (Total losses here at my place: about 12 feet of dead elm branch, freshly separated from a still-living tree.) Not enough, in other words, to discourage rummaging through the server logs in search of cheap japes.

anvil draw:  The intermediate evolutionary stage between well drinks and the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster (q.v.).

“she’s wearing bike”:  Oh, come on, it’s not that tight.

deep cerebral intj ponder:  The peculiar genius of the INTJ is that he makes the shallow sound deep.

“no woman ever shot a man” “while he was doing the dishes”:  Unless, of course, he was doing them in such a manner as to insure that he never, ever had to do them again.

charles hill bastard:  I assure you, my parents were married. They told me so.

did margaret atwood receive a response to her letter to america:  Actually, no, since she didn’t enclose a self-addressed, stamped envelope.

flirting with women is degrading:  Um, you’re doing it wrong.

car restoration from wreck to perfect:  And it will cost only four and a half times what the car cost originally, adjusted for inflation.

four letter word for smog:  For instance, “smog.”

16 april future predictions:  Whoops, too late for that now.

Marko, riffing on a search-engine query — apparently some people actually curate these things — explains how to write a military novel:

Just write whatever novel you want, and then make an editing pass and insert ranks in front of every character name. Presto!

“Corporal Bella woke to find Lieutenant Edward watching her from the foot of her bed…”

Twilight: Breaking Camp at Dawn? I would so read that.

This feature dates back to the fall of 2005, and will probably keep appearing so long as I’m still alive and people keep showing up in the server logs looking for weird stuff. So far, I’ve seen no indication that either of these conditions is about to change drastically.

Freak Scoring Machine FOR TRADE:  How are freaks scored, anyway? Does it require a blade? Or is this a quantitative thing, as with, say, Rick James’ “Super Freak”?

i feel damn badly:  No. You feel “damn bad.” If you actually felt “damn badly,” it would imply that your sensory apparatus (touch subsystem) was malfunctioning.

dash off: commentary pony:  Wouldn’t surprise me. Twilight Sparkle, voluble as she is, would be far more likely to offer commentary than Rainbow Dash.

how did infinti maintain its loyal customers:  By canny recognition of the fact that Infiniti owners don’t want to be treated like they’re running around in Nissans fercrissake.

too attractive work:  Never been accused of that before.

who goes first at a four way stop nc:  From what little driving I’ve done in North Carolina, I’d say it’s the other one.

does cuttlefish expire:  The fish expired long before you gave it to your parrot, which may also be pining for the fjords.

did anyone ever drive into tinker air force base, break through fences and get a dui:  If someone did, he’s lucky if all he got was a DUI.

i always blow all my winnings:  So you won’t mind if I bought a ticket on your behalf on this goat being raffled off?

spell feces:  Careful, now. Romanian witches know this spell, and they’ll cast it when provoked.

is pantyhose becommon for men:  I should behope not.

The major search engines, as a rule, do not pass judgment on the searches you make: they just provide results. Me, I’m judgmental and then some, as the following demonstrates:

post adolescent kids:  If they’re not growing up at all, I assume they’re planning careers in politics.

self cleaning oven methamphetamine:  Better you should try Easy-Off. Smells just as bad, but it’s a lot cheaper than meth.

why does my 96 mazda 626 5 speed only go to 5500 rpm?  Did you try taking it out of fifth?

woman shows bra:  Which is as it should be. When men start showing bra, then you can worry.

thing on a boot:  I try not to get anything on my boots.

i want to meet zooey deschanel:  Yeah, you and every dorky guy from Natchez to Mobile.

she is a great cook:  Get in line behind the guy wanting to meet Zooey Deschanel.

zooey deschanel male fantasy:  For her sake, I hope she can’t cook.

canada should annex:  Michigan, not that you can get Ottawa to take it.

drop them off or drop off them?  Are we talking the kids or the radar?

what is shortening effect:  I yield the floor to the Crisco Kid. (He was a friend of mine.)

news flash— spears westbrook is not teresa much to his dismay:  I’m sorry, what were you saying?

Spring is sprung, fall has fell; it’s Monday morning and here come a bunch of weird search strings from the past seven days, some of which I hope are funny as hell.

tetrodotoxin bmw:  That’s all we need: zombies driving Bimmers.

neon green shirt victoria’s secret:  I’m pretty sure that if Victoria’s wearing something neon green, it’s not at all a secret.

defending yourself by extortion nj:  Keeps down the legal fees. If you don’t believe me, ask Tony Soprano.

billboard of Jesus on Classen Blvd:  Unless He’s holding a milk bottle, nobody’s seen it.

food web examples for the west of the pecos:  Judge Roy Bean Casserole comes immediately to mind.

what does a transmission does it hold the miles:  What is this I don’t even…

saturn weed what side efects do yougetcwoth this weed:  Typing impairment, evidently.

“the green weenie on your plate”:  I admit, the idea of some kid dressing as Ed Begley Jr. for Halloween is pretty scary.

japanese cars in america history:  Contrary to popular belief, George Washington did not cross the Delaware in a Toyota Land Cruiser.

Joe tex sexist:  Why? Because he ain’t gonna bump no more with no big fat woman?

mr clean sexist:  Why? Because he’d rather bump with Joe Tex?

you broke my heart into 8 bits:  And then you put a hex on me, which was twice as bad.

If you’re new around here, this is a weekly (so far) feature in which we acknowledge the fact that a lot of our visitors come here, not to be entertained by our wit and wisdom or to torture themselves by exposure to the lack thereof, but because they typed something into the Google or Bing or even Yahoo! search box, and it somehow matched something in this domain. During any given week, those searches number easily in the hundreds; here, we present the silliest, and make fun of them, because what the heck else is there to do on a Monday morning?

fugmob:  Combination of “fugly” and “mob,” therefore somewhat superfluous, since all mobs tend to be fugly.

THE disc-break from the DOSUSER:  If you’re old enough to remember DOS, it’s likely you can remember breaking rather a lot of discs yourself, not to mention a CPU or two.

fly like a beagle:  I assure you, time hasn’t been slippin’ into the future that much. Yet.

hoopier:  On the frood scale, the Magratheans are hoopier than, say, the fifty-armed Jatravartids, the first sentient species to invent aerosol deodorant before the wheel.

GET YOUR PASS TO ORGY SEX PARTIES HERE:  Wait a minute, you need passes to those things? And STOP SHOUTING!

SCHMICP DISEASE:  It killed John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmicp, though it wasn’t named for him. One of the symptoms is a tendency to SHOUT!

lowered bra:  Lower it to the floor, and we’ll talk.

why are men unhandy:  Limited experience at lowering bras.

nude men 60-75 years old.com:  Certainly wouldn’t be a dot-org at that age, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

sleeping wife wakened by yobs who impregnate her:  I’m sorry, you want the Daily Mail, just along the corridor.

has someone patten blinker fluid:  It was a joint development with sealed, maintenance-free muffler bearings.

female jeans:  Depends on which side the zipper’s on. (Sometimes.)

zooey deschanel hosed:  Sometimes even when she wears jeans.

Time again for the weekly roundup of search-string weirdness, although it might be an hour late. Or an hour early. Who the hell knows at this time of the morning?

firm girl in bra:  If she’s that firm, does she really need a bra?

girls locker room vent:  Well, they have to vent somewhere, right?

victoria secret trading cards:  Karen Mulder’s rookie card is now worth over $10.

gray shoes with neon laces:  As seen in absolutely no Victoria’s Secret catalogs.

i don’t know where to get a hello kitty bikini:  You may have to go direct to Sanrio; I’m pretty sure they don’t sell them at Victoria’s Secret.

what does it mean when the transmission whines:  It’s complaining that you have too much money, and it’s going to do something about it very soon.

there are mountains and hillsides enough to climb:  Assuming, of course, we don’t rip the tops off of them in search of coal.

you’re too pretty to work here:  I mean, considering this is a coal mine and all.

by night I make the bars:  Do too much of that, and by morning you’ll be behind bars.

guess who come to me softly:  I’m guessing it’s not William “Refrigerator” Perry.

i rember everything:  Except how to spell.

word with the letters f a r t c o i n:  I’m sure I haven’t so much as a fraction of a clue.

This weekly feature highlights the lowlights of last week’s server logs, and it comes to you free, out of the goodness of my heart and at my own expense, totally unlike all the “free” stuff people think they’re getting from the government.

mazda 626 transmission exploded view:  Keep forgetting to change the fluid, and you can see it happening live in your own driveway.

naked man sitting down position:  Some people will be disturbed if he’s, um, standing up.

german sewerage treatment rachmaninoff:  It’s amazing how microbes respond to blatant Romanticism.

gambar background power point romantic:  It’s amazing how PowerPoint viewers respond to blatant Romanticism.

“search pollution”:  When the pr0n links outnumber the links you actually wanted.

why does my mazda 3 need a new transmission:  Because life is unfair. Deal with it.

come to me softly with piano:  Trust me, it will be a lot easier to sneak up on you with a flute.

why is mid grade cheaper than regular in iowa:  It’s ten percent corn squeezings. Maybe more.

what is the distance between toilet area and the farthest point at the building per ibc:  Approximately the distance over which you can hold it in, plus thirty-five percent.

girls neon dc shoes:  But of course. If they ran on AC, they’d have to be plugged into the wall.

why is even in his youth not on nevermind:  Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

“consumer reports” “best rated condoms”:  Nice to see you too, Ms Fluke.

is political blogging trustworthy:  As much so as politics itself.

This is the weekly feature where we dig into the logs, find out what in the world brought people to this site, and then make fun of it. I mean, it’s not like they’re ever coming back, right?

origami weapons:  Very dangerous, at least so long that they’re kept dry.

change odometer lease getting caught:  Be of good cheer. You won’t be able to run up any excess miles while you’re in jail.

string panties bra hell:  This is not, so far as I know, where cross-dressers go when they die.

ebayseat covers for nissan x trail:  Does it not occur to these people to look on eBay?

run the wheels off it:  Careful. You might end up having to look for parts on eBay.

infiniti i30 volume knob dust:  Use the same canned air you’d use on computer components. If you let the controls deteriorate, you’ll end up having to look for parts on eBay.

4eat-g trnsmission used gaurenteed:  Found this on eBay, did you?

buy.com yahoo answers bra:  If there were a Yahoo! Answers bra, it wouldn’t fit anyone very well, and there’s always some wiseass hoping to snap the straps.

single moms wearing g string under skirt in oakland park ks:  I know your type. You’re just wanting to get your hands on her straps.

can a mono sound system cope with modern soundtracks:  It’s doable, though don’t expect anything resembling Dolby Surround.

“festival” “men were urinating”:  I’ve heard of Burning Man, but I don’t recall anyone reporting a burning urethra — at least, not until the following weekend.

Scroogle, the anonymizing search engine that scraped Google results so you didn’t have to, has bitten the dust, says the Reg:

As we reported last week, the website was out of action and displaying a message during the most recent outage that blamed Google for “temporarily blocking” Scroogle’s server.

It turns out the site, which routinely scraped the Chocolate Factory’s search results for the best part of a decade, has been closed down by Brandt.

The final nail in the coffin came not because of action taken by Google to once again attempt to banish the site from the interwebs, but due to the number of DDoS attacks that hit Scroogle, rendering the site utterly useless.

Daniel Brandt, operator of Scroogle, says it was just a matter of time:

“Scroogle.org is gone forever,” Mr. Brandt wrote. “Even if all my DDoS problems had never started in December, Scroogle was already getting squeezed from Google’s throttling, and was already dying. It might have lasted another six months if I hadn’t lost seven servers from DDoS, but that’s about all.”

Observant readers may have already noticed that I’d reinstated Scroogle’s box on the sidebar once I’d gotten out of Google’s doghouse; it was replaced with a regular Google search box last week.

Judging by the anguished cries I hear on Yahoo! Answers day after day, many people are not aware that their visits to Web sites are recorded in server logs, and that when they visit major search engines like Google or Bing and then proceed to search results, their search strings are incorporated into those log entries. Good thing they are, too, because otherwise I’d be scratching around for a topic every Monday morning.

(Two-point penalty for “Since when is Bing a ‘major’ search engine?”)

how to draw an anvil:  Start with a picture of yourself plummeting toward the ground. Sooner or later, Bugs Bunny will come along, erase your parachute, and draw an anvil over your head.

wile e. coyote breakaway mug:  Free with the purchase of an anvil, while supplies last.

how to put a ford contour into gear:  There’s a lever for that, right between the front seats.

“invisible staples”:  And Office Depot never figured out why their customers were vanishing.

last friday night two people died:  They stepped into a place where they thought they could buy copier paper, and were immediately shot into the Phantom Zone.

zooey deschanel is not a nerd:  How about “dork”? You like dorks, don’t you?

neon sports bras target:  Presumably they’d be easy to, um, spot.

phishing amazon canceled:  The only way you’re ever going to stop phishing is to charge for outgoing email. Not even Amazon can afford that in any quantity.

what happened to dream academy mattresses?  You can still find them in some northern town.

victoria’s secret employee:  There’s only the one, and you’ll never be able to find her when you’re ready to check out.

explain on “man smart woman smarter”:  Only a man would ask that.

In not quite sixteen years I have tossed not quite five million words onto this particular site; most of them have been indexed to a fare-thee-well by the Giants of Search, and lots of people land here every week, hoping to find something that corresponds to whatever interests them at that given moment. Me, I just hope it’s funny when they do.

lock britney spears how tacking to bad thins and shes life in 2012:  Leave Britney alone. You’ve obviously been hitting the mango juice again.

is fitflop ok in rome:  Maybe for milling around town, but not for an audience with the Pope.

reese witherspoon peanut butter:  Finally, a reason to give up Jif.

why 711 wont carry lottery tickets:  Cuts into their Slim Jim sales.

girl removes bra:  It’s not like she’s gonna let you do it for her, what with the telltale scent of Slim Jims on your breath.

degrees of suckage:  It got down to 18 degrees yesterday morning, which pretty definitely sucked.

which one of these isn’t a type of rock sedimentary igneous or gormless:  I think you’ll find that few rocks of any type have a substantial quantity of gorm.

give god damn suggestion?he scored almost 40 points!  When in doubt, blame the defense.

Banning Role Conspicuous Magazine Wrong Game Live Action Playing Solipsism Park International 1898:  Never mind that. Who scored almost 40 points?

birthday suitable work:  Well, “fry cook” is definitely out.

do male college students go to nude resorts in cancun:  What are the chances this was being asked by a female?

does sierra mist shrink your penis?  What are the chances this was being asked by a female?

should canada annex us:  What are the chances this was being asked by someone in Cancun?

mark twain zooey deschanel:  And I always thought Becky Thatcher was a blonde.

The distinguishing characteristic of the Morning After is that there was a Night Before. And while many of you were enjoying (or being repulsed by) that night, I was shuffling through the logs with an eye toward this morning. Which is not to say I’m industrious or anything.

2010 buick lacrosse, headlight switch seems to dim the navigation display:  If you look around, you’ll see that all the displays are dimmed; Buick (and just about every other automaker) has done that for about, oh, seventy years now.

mariska hargitay net worth:  Way more than yours or mine, I suspect.

caliente resort tampa older hung guy:  That was Hung Qi. Give him any lip, and he’ll deck you.

michelle bachman inside thighs:  You could always just ask Marcus; there’s even a chance he might not deck you for it.

last friday night katy perry cursed because of dead people:  If she cursed at all, which I doubt, it was because of dead microphone.

whitney’s yogurt 1982:  I’d be really leery of opening that package after thirty years.

“farts penalty”:  This is an application of Newton’s third law: he who dealt it also smelt it.

what does that mean when u get new transmission:  It means you live on franks and beans for the next three years, assuming you can still afford franks.

monokini “back-formation”:  The front formation is pretty nice too.

there is a lot of stuff here:  Noticed that, did you?

This feature operates on the following assumptions: that visitors to this site will leave behind a record that contains exactly where they came from and what they were looking for, and that they don’t realize (or don’t care about) that. Whatever the mechanics of it, there’s usually a week’s worth every seven days.

where is gasket on a 1994 mazda 626:  What gasket? You might as well point to a bucket of crawfish and ask “Where’s the claw?”

“only nine toes” sexy:  Have your date stick her foot in a bucket of crawfish.

mpv v6 p r n d s l:  B F D.

was there someone that died in the video of last friday night in 1887:  No. Everyone in it will die, but not right away.

something different with steak:  How about a cellular-peptide cake with mint frosting?

nicole kidman’s inseam:  Have tape measure, will travel.

how many people does the average person speak to in a day?  More than he wants to, you damn betcha.

down to earth, witty and likeminded sarcasm only…no deadpans! lol. I’m not a fan of typing copious lines about myself, so anything you want to know feel free to ask! please refrain from getting in touch via the instant chat on this website:  Not a chance. Do you realize how many people the average person has to speak to in a day?

consarn it:  Please address your query “To whom it may consarn.”

why do guys buy girls bras and thongs: You want they should buy them for themselves?

is “monokini” a back formation?  Yes, though not everyone is looking at the formation of her back.

citigroup yogurt $4.1 billion:  This is what happens when they say you’re “too big to fail”: you overpay for everything.

This feature is presented once a week as a public service, largely because we don’t think anyone could stand it more often than that. (Those of you in charge of scheduling Republican debates could learn something from this level of restraint.)

“zooey deschanel” “sneezes”:  Well, yeah. She’s only human. Though I can’t explain the multicolored spray.

“brown bunny” swallow “three times” gallo:  No way in hell am I doing a “multicolored spray” reference here.

mule won’t:  Take it up with Hari Seldon.

speaking with flight attendants:  It’s got to be more pleasant than speaking with airport security.

on rainy nights my nude neighbor does not close her curtains:  And this is a problem — why, exactly?

mlp fim valentines chocolate:  Over to you, Pinkie Pie.

rainbow dash car seat covers:  Rarity can have that stitched up for you in no time, provided you promise not to help.

kirsten vangsness’ favorite food:  A neatly-sliced section of your heart, braised in liquid.

feigned nonchalance:  I used to do that, back when I gave a damn.

audrey hepburn physical features:  Go to sleep. Dream. Now imagine the woman you dreamed about, only better dressed.

i need a damn business idea!!!  Might I suggest — well, something that doesn’t require a blog.

can you change shift points on my ford escape:  Not right now. I’m trying to make some money off a blog.