Inconvenienced psychopath issues a threat

Like this:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: If service to Safeway and QFC stores in Washington State especially King County I will start destroying things and even more!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Let the little madman speak:

here is the situation

Some Safeway and QFC stores in Washington State are denying consumers their god given right to do things such as renew their monthly Orca bus card (for monthly passes) and add money to Orca Cards due to a technical issue that is most likely caused by the people that invented it just to inconvenience people and force them to be patient until the issue is resolved (an example of how people like this like to cause chaos and disorder).

here is what is going to happen:

Service to this will be restored by April 25th of 2017 by anywhere from midnight to 9am that day or I will take the following actions:

I will get flammable materials in the form of flammable liquid (most likely gas cans and whatever is cheaply and easily obtainable in my area) and start finding areas not on retailers property but wherever near there I see fit (could be neighborhoods and any place near those parts of town that have areas people can get into undetected and easily without notice and I will start burning things down (random acts of Arson).

I live in King County but have access for a limited time to some areas by the means I have to get around to places so mark my word this is something I am capable of doing and will do if my demands to have this service restored by then are not met.

if it comes to the point where I have to start harming people or even cops (or pigs as I call them) that stand in my way then well… I will do whatever it takes then.
Update: – link works on all browsers – link works in Internet explorer but not Opera Browser for some reason. whether it works on firefox or not I do not know as I have not used that browser in a long time
Update 2: my actions will not affect retailers themselves but rather random areas around them that I manage to find that are secure during any time of day I find out about that I can access certain areas of any kind
Update 3: I do know that technically forcing people of any kind to do something they do not want to do might be technically referred to as terrorism but then even if that is the case I do not give a s***.

f*** the police anyway

in short action by fire as such is the action I will take if my demands to have Orca card services are not restored by April 25th of 2017 action against actual people is mostly what I will do if my demands are not met and people try to stop me.
Update 4: I do not fear the reaper or the law (I am not afraid of anything).

worst thing after death anyway is I will be reborn into the next life anyway (well that is if I fail anyway… which I will not).
Update 5: even areas around my own neighborhood I will attack as long as it does not affect me personally directly.
Update 6: I am the mad dog

and this is my time
Update 7: also I should note that if some action is not done to undo whatever glitch and/or technical issue caused by whomever is responsible for this is not done by Monday that week even (meaning if I do not find out anything by then) I will start planning what places to attack first that very Monday night at least.

gotta plan ahead for these sort of things ya know.
not planning ahead only makes my plan harder to accomplish if my demands are not met.
Update 8: I will not give my exact location but I will however make the following additional demands:
Update 9: the following cities will have service restored first for Orca Card bus passes:

Update 10: I do not take kindly to disappointment and do not tolerate failure.
Update 11: Monday that week is merely a night for planning.

I say this as I have to work most of the day Monday but after I get home I have all the free time to plan further.
Update 12: if I cannot get flammable liquid in time for whatever reason I have many flammable papers and such around where I live that I do not use that I would not mind using for this if I need to at any time
Update 13: Does what I am saying have a motive


does it have a good reason


am I extremely impatient

Update 14: I am serious this time

anything else I complained about on here is nothing compared to this.

I will take the action I said I would if my demands are not met By April 25th of 2017 this week
Update 15: I do not fear FBI, police, and even Trump.
Update 16: all I have to do now is delete this yahoo account by changing the password first and then deleting it. its not much but its a start

Being the generous soul I am, I passed the link to the Seattle police department. I’m sure the little bastard’s ISP knows who he is, and where he is.

Comments (4)

IPv4 fanfiction

I don’t believe a word of this, but it’s a heck of a narrative. Holly — no, not our Holly — claims:

I found a way to pinpoint exactly where someone is EVERY time they use their phone and it is through Netflix. Just saying.?

Suspension of disbelief begins to fail … NOW:

So my ex bf does not have Netflix on his phone. He only has it on his smart tv and his computer … that I know of.

He kept taking off at odd hours and I noticed he was bringing condoms. I actually counted them for a month bf doing this. Anyway I went to his Netflix acct and then to history. It has option there for IP addresses. I clicked that. It told me his IP address EVERY time he used his phone … it had nothing to do with netflix. It also corresponded to the times he kept taking off. I highlighted and copied the IP addresses into a gps converter app I got from google play. It took those IP addresses and gave me the exact gps coordinates of where he was at as well as the time he was there (Netflix IP history). It showed him many times in the middle of the woods on an army base and on a dirt road (where his missing condoms were found on the ground). I waited until he left and went to the place and caught him with a male prostitute. He is now my ex. Oh and he is an FBI agent in sex crimes division. Sooo … that is how you do it :-)

If he doesn’t have Netflix on his phone, why would Netflix have a list of the IP addresses on his phone? For that matter, why would the guy’s desktop have a list of the IP addresses on his phone? If you ask me, he’s better off as far as possible from Femaleficent there.

Comments (5)

Honest about his intentions

At a dime a dozen, this guy’s worth about 0.8 cent:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: What will a resonated tip do to my exhaust sound?

But maybe I’ve underestimated him:

I’ve been looking around a lot and I can’t find a straight answer, I have a 94 ford explorer 4.0 5 speed, I have the rear catalytic converter punched out and an 8 inch glass pack. I wanna put a tip on my exhaust but I don’t know which I should go with a plain tip or resonated, I’m looking for a sort of a little louder sound it’s hard to explain it exactly but I sort of want to make it more obnoxious sounding

Not to worry. You explained it just fine.

Comments (4)

The Audi from hell

Yeah, I remember when I was a whiny adolescent:

I’m not asking for a 2017 mustang or anything near that but I have a 2004 Audi A4 with 154,000 miles which has this thing it does where you’re driving and it bumps forward (almost made me hit a car once). I’m only 18 and work part time so I gotta smile and pretend like I like what’s literally been killing me inside. I wanna cry just looking at it. But “I am lucky” to have a car as I have been told. I could sell it for a reasonable price and put that down as down payment towards the car that I do want which is under 10k and is much nicer and in great condition(2012). My dad won’t listen like always and I really fantasize about driving it off a cliff that’s how sad this car makes me. I feel this pain in chest thinking about it. What should I do honestly? And stop all this “you’re spoiled thing” when you know you’re only saying that cause you are not in my situation.

Well, if it’s “literally killing” you inside, it doesn’t matter: you’re about to be very, very dead, which if nothing else should reduce your level of sadness.

And trust me on this: if you’re suicidal with Car A, you’re going to be suicidal with Cars B through Whatever.

Bottom line: Fix the goddamn Audi and shut the frack up.


Self-imputed cleverness

“How did I come up with this brilliant idea?” he’s probably asking himself.

Yahoo Answers screenshot: If I were to power a battery charger off the battery that it is charging, would it charge itself?

Apparently he’s serious:

So, in detail. Let’s say I take a marine battery (like the “Optima Batteries 8016-103 D34M BlueTop Starting and Deep Cycle Marine Battery” on amazon). I take this Marine battery and I were to get a female DC cigarette adapter (like the “TireTek TT-BCA-297 Car Battery Clip-On Cigarette Lighter Socket Adapter 12V” found on amazon) then I attach the adapter to the marine battery then attach a vehicle power inverter (like the “BESTEK 300W Power Inverter DC 12V to 110V AC Car Inverter with 3.1A Dual USB Car Adapter” found on amazon) into the adapter and run a battery charger (like the “Black & Decker BC15BD 15 Amp Bench Battery Charger with Engine Start Timer” off amazon) back to the battery. Would it charge itself.

Maybe he saw this and got his hopes up:

Either that, or he’s hoping Amazon will pay him for plugging, so to speak, their equipment.

Comments (1)

The mostly-impossible dream

You have to have something to motivate you, I suppose:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: Are used Lamborghinis, Ferraris, Mclarens, etc. just as reliable as a new one?

He goes on:

I am only a teenager with a big dream for super cars. I obsess over them. I recently looked on used car sites and found super cars under $150k that are $200k+ new (These might be older models though). Will these be as reliable as new ones?

Admittedly, he is not alone in his obsession.

They certainly won’t be any less expensive to operate. Ask the Ferrari owner who spends $5 a mile maintaining his prancing pony. (Which doesn’t, by the way, include gas at maybe 10 mpg and insurance at God knows what.)

I firmly believe that any money an adolescent accumulates for Big Speed should be spent on a proper racing school; even the meanest commuter vehicle can, and occasionally should, be driven with verve.

Comments (5)

Captain Obvious has a sister

And she’s evidently not too handy around the house:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: My temporary tag for my new car is hard to unscrew. It requires a flathead screwdriver. How can I get it off?

To give her credit, she wasn’t at all rude about it; she apparently really wasn’t sure what she was doing. Still, how do you get to the age of eight, let alone eighteen, without a working knowledge of screwdrivers?

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Impurrfectly worded

I tend to distrust people who lead off this way:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: How do you delete someone elses Tumblr so they will stop making cat jokes?

Especially if they pivot at the end: “I need them to stop right meow”.

That said, this character has no standing to request deletion of a Tumblr, unless he can prove felinity.

Comments (1)

Daydream fail revisited

Remember this douchelet? Last week he was asking about buying a Lamborghini and claiming an absurd salary to justify himself. Well, he’s back, and he’s more specific this time:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: Which should i buy a 2009 ferrari 430 or a 2007 lamborghini murcielago?

He goes on (and on):

the ferrari cost 184k it has 2048 miles the murcielago lago cost 189k it has 8452 miles which has less cost of maintenance which is more reliable im gonna keep it forever not selling it again

Well, it’s certainly true that he’s not selling it, inasmuch as he can’t possibly buy it. Someone (not I) gave the little dink a stern lecture and this link:

You can buy two new Corollas for that kind of money.

Comments (1)

Daydream fail

I mean, this character is delusional from the word Go:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: Can i be able to buy and keep a lamborghini huracan?

To justify this delusion:

i earn 140-170k per year
i average 8-11k per month

Um, no you don’t. That alleged maximum of $11k per month comes out to only $132k a year. If you made that kind of money, you’d either be able to figure that yourself, or perhaps hire a fourth-grader to do it for you.

Last I looked, base price was $203,295, though I suspect none are sold at anywhere near base price: most of them have $30,000 or more worth of options.

I suspect this guy won’t be getting out of his ’99 Corolla for a long time.

Comments (3)

No fourth-graders were available

Had there been, we likely wouldn’t have seen this:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: I have used 0.01 GB out of 2 GB. How many GB do I have left?

I suppose she was told there would be no math.

Comments (1)

We demand more flesh

No, no, a thousand times no:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: Can I report someone on Instagram for not showing enough skin?

Masturbator wants more material:

Theres this girl who has super nice feet and nice legs and belly, but her photos are like … super boring. she only has like 4 decent photos (out of like 500 or more).

Is it possible to report her so Instagram gives her a strike and force her to upload sexier/revealing photos?

I think we may safely assume this chap is destined for perpetual virginity.

Comments (1)

Truly, timing is everything

The only thing surprising about this, if you ask me, is that it showed up on Facebook rather than on Yahoo! Answers.

Photo of a timing belt installed incorrectly

(Via Country & Ford.)

Comments (7)

The bigot underneath

On the face of it, this would seem to be a perfectly reasonable question:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: Do people buy Chevrolets, Fords, and Chrysler vehicles because they are so reliable, long lasting, and well engineered?

But he let it slip in his “update”:

whenever i see someone driving a new chevrolet, i think…someone that ‘loves America” and probably hates immigrants and muslims, apple pie, country music and most likely a church going christian?

Well, whenever I see someone writing this, I think I’m dealing with a thickheaded Pajama Boy, or worse, who has never seen anything of the real world and wouldn’t learn anything from it if he did. He probably cried his little heart out when the Wicked Witch of Chappaqua failed to steal the White House.

Comments (2)

Troll level: hitchhiker

This is just colossally dumb:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: I have a honda crx dohc zc1 engine is it okay to put half a quart less engine oil to save engine drag and get more horse power

This is not quite as intelligent, as, say, substituting Clorox for Metamucil. Still, I sort of want to encourage the guy so he’ll ruin his car faster.

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Paranoia for beginners

I defy anyone to read this whole thing without busting out laughing. Here’s the question:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: 
How do I view content that was blocked by my ISP?

And here’s the rest of it:

I believe my ISP is actively filtering out certain materials from being viewed from my Internet service that could have been used as evidence by me in getting some other people prosecuted for slandering my name and image since 2010. I have had lies spread to neighbouring suburbs and businesses well before I signed up for a broadband service from one of my ISPs shop front located in a suburb where lies have spread to.

I am unable to locate chain-posts containing lies and pictures about me that random people have taken after bullying me, but the treatment I get out in public looks very much like someone has been posting lies about me while people choosing to believe in these lies and bully me are taking photos of me and publishing them somewhere (there’s always a trend of random bullying each time someone successfully takes a photo of me)

This is apparently what it’s like to be off one’s meds.

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Only one of these numbers is at all relevant:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: On the autobahn, can a g37x sedan keep up(pacing)with other high performance vehicles(Amgs, m series, Audi rs, Porsche, Ferrari)?

Justifications, so to speak:

The car is a 2013 g37 x Sedan the car has a 7 speed automatic transmission. The car is in physically and mechanically in good condition and is easily capable of doing over 110 mph on highways that are legally limited to as high as 75 mph. The performance on this car seems phenomenal and seems to have really good handling capabilities at extremely speeds(150 mph or more).

Anyways the car has
-328 hp, 269ftlbs of torque
3.7 liter v6 naturally aspirated
0-60 in 5.4 sec
Has awd
Speed is limited up to 155 mph

My real question is based on the performance of this car, does it have what it takes(performance) to compete against other high end sports(like the ones I mentioned above) or would it be left in the dust?


Also can the g37x sustain speeds of 140 mph or would the engine blow up? Would adding a heavy duty radiator cooler, better tires, stiffer suspensions and an intake filter help it?

Note that he has no idea whether this Infiniti actually has “really good handling capabilities at extremely [sic] speeds.”

But none of this is relevant in the light of this one line:

Speed is limited up to 155 mph

Those other guys? Not limited to 155 mph. What do you think would happen, assuming there’s enough space on the autobahn to allow this kind of boy-racer fantasy?

This has to be either a bar bet, or a 15-year-old who dreams that the parental units are going to get him this car and who will be threatening suicide when they come home with something appropriate to his capabilities — say, a ’99 Toyota Corolla.

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Troll level: average

Credit for keeping a straight face, though:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: Why doesn't Elliot Rodger upload anymore?


I used to watch his videos but the supreme gentleman hasn’t uploaded since 2014! Has he quit YouTube?

Um, not exactly. The creepy little weirdo, in his one act of true selflessness, turned the gun on himself. So the guy with the first answer to this question was correct: “No wifi in hell.”

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Maximum wrongness

This is just so wrong on so many levels:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: Can I replace the engine in a modern vehicle with a 1940 Cadillac V16 engine and not be subject to an emissions inspection?

Um, no, no, and once again no. You have to meet the emissions spec for the vehicle’s model year, irrespective of engine. This boat anchor weighs nearly as much as the two straight-eights from which it was derived, which will screw up your suspension something fierce. And today there are contemporary fours that put out more power than the low-revving Caddy sixteen while drinking far less fuel.

Let’s hope this is a troll, because if someone that stupid is out there … but never mind, let’s not even think about that.

Comments (3)

Plangent commentary

Me, I mock Yahoo! Answers users one at a time. Others, more industrious, make it up in volume:

The opposite of eugenics must be whatever encourages these losers to reproduce.

(Via Miss Cellania.)

Comments (3)