Much has been made of the so-called "character issue", and how it will affect the Presidential election. It is generally agreed among the current crop of Republicans, and grudgingly admitted by some Democrats, that Bill Clinton is something less than an ethical paragon. It doesn't require a call to the Psychic Friends Network to figure that the Dole campaign, not to mention various sources of that wonderful elixir, "soft money", will bring up this issue as many times as opportunities and finances permit.

It is at least possible, though, that the GOP could botch it. And the way to botch it is to fixate on the President's Sixties peccadilloes. Inhale or no, marijuana is a no-win campaign for the Republicans; the sort of people who would be upset by an occasional spliff are the sort of people who think Newt Gingrich is a flaming liberal, and they're not likely to switch their votes away from Clinton, since they wouldn't vote for him even if the Republican nominee were Joseph Stalin. Even the Republican frosh in the Congress, quick to jump on any buzzword handed down on high, will resist this one; of the four such in my state delegation, I'm willing to bet that two have inhaled at one time or another, and the other two are 1) one of the Stepford Christians you hear so much about and 2) a chap who makes Bob Dole look like Timothy Leary.

The Oily Dorklahoman, Dustbury's alleged newspaper (NOTE: Link to "http://www.neanderthal.org" has been removed—Chaz), harps on the draft-dodging business, and runs an editorial — the same one, only with the date changed — on Memorial Day to excoriate the Commander-in-Chief. Again, this won't win any votes for the GOP, for pretty much the same reasons — people who are really upset by this have already committed themselves to Dole or (in order of increasing implausibility level) Pat Buchanan or Benito Mussolini or a three-toed sloth or Bob Dornan.

(Repeat whichever paragraph you wish to use for Paula Jones and company.)

That leaves Whitew