Note to the regulars: I wrote this for Town Hall at today, as part of a topic called "Demonization of SUVs". If this looks familiar, that's where you saw it. Besides, I couldn't see churning out yet another Greatest Hits page to celebrate the mathematical arrival of Vent #250, so consider this an example of "repurposing of content". - Chaz

I remember when my father somehow got talked into a '59 Anglia, a product of Ford of England that managed to incorporate all of the things you hate about British sports cars without including any of the sporty stuff. And yes, it was possible to haul two adults and three children across half the country in this little darb, provided the kids were kept thoroughly anesthetized. I suppose one could argue that this was a proper automotive purchase — absolutely no more machine than one needed — but no one this side of Nader's Raiders would argue that it was an enjoyable one. And I persist, forty-odd years later, in my hedonistic belief that if it isn't fun, it isn't worth it.

Of course, I don't think most SUVs would be much fun, either, except during the time when they're being driven over rocks and such, but then that's just me. Your mileage may vary. And until I start paying your car payments, I figure I don't get to tell you what you ought to be driving. I did my homework and bought what I wanted. I assume everyone else did the same until proven otherwise, and even if it is proven otherwise, what difference does it make to me?

"SUVs drink a lot of fuel." So we run out of oil a few days sooner. This means that alternative fuels are that much closer at hand.

"SUVs roll over a lot." Unless they roll over me, which none ever has, this doesn't affect me to any great extent; there are far greater factors to influence my insurance costs.

"SUVs pollute the environment." So does a clapped-out '77 Volaré, and I don't see anybody whining about them.

You want a Suburban, buy a Suburban. I promise not to think any less of you for so doing. Honestly.

The Vent

23 June 2001

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 Copyright © 2001 by Charles G. Hill