So who am I to pass up an easy meme? Presenting the Multiple Layers of...well, me.
LAYER ONE:
— Name: Charles, according to the appropriate paperwork.
— Birth date: November 1953.
— Birthplace: Lake County, Illinois.
— Current Location: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
— Eye Color: Weathered brown.
— Hair Color: Black, when it isn't grey, when it's there at all.
— Height: 1.83 meters.
— Righty or Lefty: Certified northpaw.
— Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius, the Weird Guy with the Pointed Sticks.
LAYER TWO:
— Your heritage: A hash of Latino, Levantine and Lutheran.
— The shoes you wore today: New Balance sneakers.
— Your weakness: Popeye's chicken and biscuits.
— Your fears: Dying alone; actually falling in love.
— Your perfect pizza: Papa John's with two meats per side.
— Goal you'd like to achieve: Get far enough out of debt to be able to claim a positive net worth.
LAYER THREE:
— Your most overused phrase on AIM: "You rang?"
— Your first waking thoughts: "Is it 6 o'clock already?"
— Your best physical feature: Not applicable.
— Your most missed memory: Um, someone I once knew.
LAYER FOUR:
— Pepsi or Coke: Coca-Cola, with all the sugar and caffeine it's supposed to have.
— McDonald's or Burger King: BK, though I'd prefer Whataburger to either.
— Single or group dates: Insufficient data.
— Adidas or Nike: I own a pair of Nikes, but I prefer New Balance.
— Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton's, though Luzianne is better.
— Chocolate or vanilla: Can I order a swirl cone?
— Cappuccino or coffee: If it doesn't peel paint, it ain't coffee.
LAYER FIVE:
— Smoke: Never touch the stuff.
— Cuss: Farging A.
— Sing: Far better I should keep my mouth shut.
— Take a shower everyday: Twice on some days.
— Do you think you've been in love: It felt like love. There were moments when...well, there were moments when.
— Want to go to college: Tried it, they didn't like me.
— Liked high school: Not as much as you think I did.
— Want to get married: Where do I apply for divine intervention?
— Believe in yourself: Depends on the topic.
— Get motion sickness: If you're driving, probably.
— Think you're attractive: Not even.
— Think you're a health freak: Does hypochondria count?
— Like thunderstorms: I sleep through them. This is Oklahoma, after all.
— Play an instrument: Piano, after a fashion, and not a contemporary fashion at that.
LAYER SIX: In the past month...
— Drank alcohol: A brewski or two.
— Smoked: Didn't even breathe hard.
— Done a drug: Daily tranqs and antihypertensives.
— Made out: Surely you jest.
— Gone on a date: See above.
— Gone to the mall: Well, Sears, anyway.
— Eaten an entire box of Oreos: Not at one sitting.
— Eaten sushi: Isn't fish supposed to be cooked?
— Been on stage: All the world's a stage, and I want better lighting.
— Been dumped: No dumper available.
— Gone skating: Extreme klutziness makes this inadvisable.
— Made homemade cookies: To the extent that yes, I thawed out the dough, yes.
— Dyed your hair: What hair?
LAYER SEVEN: Ever...
— Played a game that required removal of clothing: Nope. And it's probably a good thing.
— If so, was it mixed company: Not applicable.
— Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: When I was younger, I hoisted a few.
— Been caught "doing something": Not anything worth being caught at.
— Been called a tease: Seldom does anyone call at all.
— Gotten beaten up: Not since 11th grade, and not badly.
— Shoplifted: No reason to.
— Changed who you were to fit in: Inadequately, if at all.
LAYER EIGHT:
— Age you hope to be married: I've given up hope.
— Numbers and Names of Children: 2 — Rebecca and Russell.
— Describe your Dream Wedding: I dare not dream of such things.
— How do you want to die: As quietly, and as late, as possible.
— Where you want to go to college: Some place totally obscure, so everyone will assume I had the diploma done at Kinko's.
— What do you want to be when you grow up: Less immature.
— What country would you most like to visit: The Martian colony.
LAYER NINE:
— Number of drugs taken illegally: Not even.
— Number of people I could trust with my life: Probably more than I think.
— Number of CDs that I own: 1,040.
— Number of piercings: Zero.
— Number of tattoos: Also zero.
— Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: If letters to the editor count, about twenty.
— Number of scars on my body: Six I know of.
— Number of things in my past that I regret: Probably more than I think.
— Who did you get this from: The Axis of Greeblie (which is to say, Dave).
