So who am I to pass up an easy meme? Presenting the Multiple Layers of...well, me.

 — Name: Charles, according to the appropriate paperwork.
 — Birth date: November 1953.
 — Birthplace: Lake County, Illinois.
 — Current Location: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
 — Eye Color: Weathered brown.
 — Hair Color: Black, when it isn't grey, when it's there at all.
 — Height: 1.83 meters.
 — Righty or Lefty: Certified northpaw.
 — Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius, the Weird Guy with the Pointed Sticks.

 — Your heritage: A hash of Latino, Levantine and Lutheran.
 — The shoes you wore today: New Balance sneakers.
 — Your weakness: Popeye's chicken and biscuits.
 — Your fears: Dying alone; actually falling in love.
 — Your perfect pizza: Papa John's with two meats per side.
 — Goal you'd like to achieve: Get far enough out of debt to be able to claim a positive net worth.

 — Your most overused phrase on AIM: "You rang?"
 — Your first waking thoughts: "Is it 6 o'clock already?"
 — Your best physical feature: Not applicable.
 — Your most missed memory: Um, someone I once knew.

 — Pepsi or Coke: Coca-Cola, with all the sugar and caffeine it's supposed to have.
 — McDonald's or Burger King: BK, though I'd prefer Whataburger to either.
 — Single or group dates: Insufficient data.
 — Adidas or Nike: I own a pair of Nikes, but I prefer New Balance.
 — Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton's, though Luzianne is better.
 — Chocolate or vanilla: Can I order a swirl cone?
 — Cappuccino or coffee: If it doesn't peel paint, it ain't coffee.

 — Smoke: Never touch the stuff.
 — Cuss: Farging A.
 — Sing: Far better I should keep my mouth shut.
 — Take a shower everyday: Twice on some days.
 — Do you think you've been in love: It felt like love. There were moments when...well, there were moments when.
 — Want to go to college: Tried it, they didn't like me.
 — Liked high school: Not as much as you think I did.
 — Want to get married: Where do I apply for divine intervention?
 — Believe in yourself: Depends on the topic.
 — Get motion sickness: If you're driving, probably.
 — Think you're attractive: Not even.
 — Think you're a health freak: Does hypochondria count?
 — Like thunderstorms: I sleep through them. This is Oklahoma, after all.
 — Play an instrument: Piano, after a fashion, and not a contemporary fashion at that.

LAYER SIX: In the past month...
 — Drank alcohol: A brewski or two.
 — Smoked: Didn't even breathe hard.
 — Done a drug: Daily tranqs and antihypertensives.
 — Made out: Surely you jest.
 — Gone on a date: See above.
 — Gone to the mall: Well, Sears, anyway.
 — Eaten an entire box of Oreos: Not at one sitting.
 — Eaten sushi: Isn't fish supposed to be cooked?
 — Been on stage: All the world's a stage, and I want better lighting.
 — Been dumped: No dumper available.
 — Gone skating: Extreme klutziness makes this inadvisable.
 — Made homemade cookies: To the extent that yes, I thawed out the dough, yes.
 — Dyed your hair: What hair?

 — Played a game that required removal of clothing: Nope. And it's probably a good thing.
 — If so, was it mixed company: Not applicable.
 — Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: When I was younger, I hoisted a few.
 — Been caught "doing something": Not anything worth being caught at.
 — Been called a tease: Seldom does anyone call at all.
 — Gotten beaten up: Not since 11th grade, and not badly.
 — Shoplifted: No reason to.
 — Changed who you were to fit in: Inadequately, if at all.

 — Age you hope to be married: I've given up hope.
 — Numbers and Names of Children: 2 — Rebecca and Russell.
 — Describe your Dream Wedding: I dare not dream of such things.
 — How do you want to die: As quietly, and as late, as possible.
 — Where you want to go to college: Some place totally obscure, so everyone will assume I had the diploma done at Kinko's.
 — What do you want to be when you grow up: Less immature.
 — What country would you most like to visit: The Martian colony.

 — Number of drugs taken illegally: Not even.
 — Number of people I could trust with my life: Probably more than I think.
 — Number of CDs that I own: 1,040.
 — Number of piercings: Zero.
 — Number of tattoos: Also zero.
 — Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: If letters to the editor count, about twenty.
 — Number of scars on my body: Six I know of.
 — Number of things in my past that I regret: Probably more than I think.
 — Who did you get this from: The Axis of Greeblie (which is to say, Dave).

The Vent

1 February 2004

 | Vent menu | E-mail to Chaz

 Copyright © 2004 by Charles G. Hill