| Writings | Copyright © 1996-2015 by Charles G. Hill
Through 2013, my record was still intact. Every year since 1984, I've made my own personal selection (just for sporting purposes, doncha know) for the Playboy Playmate of the Year, and every year since 1984, the readers, or the staff, or Hef himself, or whoever, picks someone else — until now.
This dismal record speaks for itself. Note that all months are from the previous year's issues; the 1984 PMOY, for instance, was chosen from 1983 Playmates.
| Year | My pick | Playboy's pick |
| 1984 | Tracy Vaccaro (October) | Barbara Edwards (September) |
| 1985 | Deborah Nicolle Johnson (October) | Karen Velez (December) |
| 1986 | Cindy Brooks (April) | Kathy Shower (May) |
| 1987 | Laurie Carr (December) | Donna Edmondson (November) |
| 1988 | Sharry Konopski (August) | India Allen (December) |
| 1989 | Terri Lynn Doss (July) | Kimberley Conrad (January) |
| 1990 | Tawnni Cable (June) | Renee Tenison (November) |
| 1991 | Lorraine Olivia (November) | Lisa Matthews (April) |
| 1992 | Samantha Dorman (September) | Corinna Harney (August) |
| 1993 | Ashley Allen (August) | Vickie (later "Anna Nicole") Smith (May) |
| 1994 | Alesha Oreskovich (June) | Jenny McCarthy (October) |
| 1995 | Donna Perry (November) | Julie Lynn Cialini (February) |
| 1996 | Lisa Marie Scott (February) | Stacy Sanches (March) |
| 1997 | Karin Taylor (June) | Victoria Silvstedt (December) |
| 1998 | Kimber West (February) | Karen McDougal (December) |
| 1999 | Maria Luisa Gil (June) | Heather Kozar (January) |
| 2000 | Alexandria Karlsen (March) | Jodi Ann Paterson (October) |
| 2001 | Nicole Marie Lenz (March) | Brande Roderick (April) |
| 2002 | Shanna Moakler (December) | Dalene Kurtis (September) |
| 2003 | Nicole Narain (January) | Christina Santiago (August) |
| 2004 | Laurie Fetter (May) | Carmella DeCesare (April) |
| 2005 | Cara Zavaleta (November) | Tiffany Fallon (December) |
| 2006 | Tamara Witmer (August) | Kara Monaco (June) |
| 2007 | Alison Waite (May) | Sara Jean Underwood (July) |
| 2008 | Tyran Richard (March) | Jayde Nicole (January) |
| 2009 | Laura Croft (July) | Ida Ljungqvist (March) |
| 2010 | Candice Cassidy (June) | Hope Dworaczyk (April) |
| 2011 | Kyra Milan (March) | Claire Sinclair (October) |
| 2012 | Rainy Day Jordan (December) | Jaclyn Swedberg (April) |
| 2013 | Alana Campos (September) | Raquel Pomplun (April) |
| 2014 | Kennedy Summers (December) | Kennedy Summers (December) |
| 2015 | Shanice Jordyn (April) | Dani Mathers (May) |
Now, one could perhaps argue — from two different viewpoints, yet! — that I simply don't understand women, and I'd be in no position to disagree. I obviously don't know any of these women personally (the odd email doesn't really count), and certainly can't evaluate them on any criteria other than the purely superficial; then again, if other males of the species are comparably deprived, and I have no reason to suspect they aren't, I should be doing better than 0 1 for whatever, if only from a statistical standpoint.
Regular readers, if I have any, will note that this page, which dates to 1996, was originally titled Hef 13, Chaz 0. Nothing much has changed since then, except for that one lucky guess in 2014. Do I become brain-dead in the presence — even the printed presence — of beautiful women? And let's not have everyone write in to say that I could have cut the word "beautiful" without changing the truth of the statement, okay?
And why does this page even exist? Why would I beat up on myself for three decades? For one thing, it's funny in a rueful sort of way; for another, it gives me reason to believe that at least a few Playmates, deep down inside, actually agree with me on something.
Then again, when Playboy decided to abandon its old format in early 2016 in the hopes of chasing down Maxim readers, I saw no reason to continue with this guessing game, though I did faithfully look at all twelve 2015 centerfolds one more time. I can assure you, though, I would have been wrong again.
First posted 5 May 1996; last update 21 May 2016
| Writings | Copyright © 1996-2015 by Charles G. Hill