First posted 5 May 1996; last update 10 May 2008
My record is still intact. Every year since 1984, I've made my own personal selection (just for sporting purposes, doncha know) for the Playboy Playmate of the Year, and every year since 1984, the readers, or the staff, or Hef himself, or whoever, picks someone else.
This dismal record speaks for itself. Note that all months are from the previous year's issues; the 1984 PMOY, for instance, was chosen from 1983 Playmates.
| Year | My pick | Playboy's pick |
| 1984 | Tracy Vaccaro (October) | Barbara Edwards (September) |
| 1985 | Deborah Nicolle Johnson (October) | Karen Velez (December) |
| 1986 | Cindy Brooks (April) | Kathy Shower (May) |
| 1987 | Laurie Carr (December) | Donna Edmondson (November) |
| 1988 | Sharry Konopski (August) | India Allen (December) |
| 1989 | Terri Lynn Doss (July) | Kimberley Conrad (January) |
| 1990 | Tawnni Cable (June) | Renee Tenison (November) |
| 1991 | Lorraine Olivia (November) | Lisa Matthews (April) |
| 1992 | Samantha Dorman (September) | Corinna Harney (August) |
| 1993 | Ashley Allen (August) | Vickie (later "Anna Nicole") Smith (May) |
| 1994 | Alesha Oreskovich (June) | Jenny McCarthy (October) |
| 1995 | Donna Perry (November) | Julie Lynn Cialini (February) |
| 1996 | Lisa Marie Scott (February) | Stacy Sanches (March) |
| 1997 | Karin Taylor (June) | Victoria Silvstedt (December) |
| 1998 | Kimber West (February) | Karen McDougal (December) |
| 1999 | Maria Luisa Gil (June) | Heather Kozar (January) |
| 2000 | Alexandria Karlsen (March) | Jodi Ann Paterson (October) |
| 2001 | Nicole Marie Lenz (March) | Brande Roderick (April) |
| 2002 | Shanna Moakler (December) | Dalene Kurtis (September) |
| 2003 | Nicole Narain (January) | Christina Santiago (August) |
| 2004 | Laurie Fetter (May) | Carmella DeCesare (April) |
| 2005 | Cara Zavaleta (November) | Tiffany Fallon (December) |
| 2006 | Tamara Witmer (August) | Kara Monaco (June) |
| 2007 | Alison Waite (May) | Sara Jean Underwood (July) |
| 2008 | Tyran Richard (March) | Jayde Nicole (January) |
Now, one could perhaps argue — from two different viewpoints, yet! — that I simply don't understand women, and I'd be in no position to disagree. I obviously don't know any of these women personally (the odd email doesn't really count), and certainly can't evaluate them on any criteria other than the purely superficial; then again, if other males of the species are comparably deprived, and I have no reason to suspect they aren't, I should be doing better than 0 for 24, if only from a statistical standpoint.
Regular readers, if I have any, will note that this page was originally titled Hef 13, Chaz 0. Eleven years later, nothing much has changed. Do I become brain-dead in the presence — even the printed presence — of beautiful women? And let's not have everyone write in to say that I could have cut the word "beautiful" without changing the truth of the statement, okay?
And why does this page even exist? Why would I beat up on myself for two decades? For one thing, it's funny in a rueful sort of way; for another, it gives me reason to believe that at least a few Playmates, deep down inside, actually agree with me on something.
First posted 5 May 1996; last update 10 May 2008
| Writings | E-mail to Chaz | Copyright © 1996-2008 by Charles G. Hill