The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

21 September 2005

Return of the hanging judge

Not that you or I or anyone in the courtroom wants to know how it's hanging, but — oh, let's have Sean Gleeson finish the story:

The trial of former District Judge Donald Thompson, accused of onanistic impropriety in his Creek County courtroom, starts Monday in Bristow. Among the state's evidence will be a masturbatory device which has been sawed in half, and 180 hours of audio tapes on which can be heard a telltale rhythmic whooshing sound.

(Previous coverage here and here.)

Counsel for the former jurist, at least in public, is confident his client will beat the rap.

Posted at 7:41 AM to Soonerland


And you know, I was already the top Google result for "onanistic impropriety."

Posted by: Sean Gleeson at 8:17 AM on 21 September 2005

Surely there is something to be said about the penal code in this case.

Posted by: Chase at 11:19 AM on 21 September 2005

I'm sure they warned him about banging his gavel.

Posted by: CGHill at 11:38 AM on 21 September 2005

Thompson hired the lawyer because he wasn't sure he could get himself off.

Posted by: Sean Gleeson at 12:11 PM on 21 September 2005

At the arraignment, Thompson forgot to bring his briefs.

Posted by: Sean Gleeson at 12:22 PM on 21 September 2005

Aww, shucks, he's just a victim of the "short arm of the law"

Posted by: paulsmos at 12:33 PM on 21 September 2005

But he'll always be remembered for his seminal work.

Posted by: Sean Gleeson at 12:35 PM on 21 September 2005

To this day, Thompson holds the record for the most charges of battery.

Posted by: Sean Gleeson at 12:40 PM on 21 September 2005

I hear that his defense will be that he was doing it pro bono.

Posted by: Sean Gleeson at 12:45 PM on 21 September 2005

I'm so sorry.

Posted by: Sean Gleeson's Wife at 2:41 PM on 21 September 2005

His case is inches away from a climatic conclusion ...

Posted by: Ron at 9:29 AM on 22 September 2005