8 February 2006
Unless, of course, you're binomial
At what time of the day are you the most sexually responsive?
Here's the formula:
AL / T + 10 x AG / SF x G = TOTAL / 60 = sexiest time, where:
AL = Represent units of alcohol consumed each week
AG = Your age
SF = sexual frequency per week
G = Gender ( Male - 2, Female - 1.5)
T = Sex time preference ( 1.5 - Mornings, 2 - Evenings)
Add or subtract your answer to or from 6am (e.g +11.75 means 4.45pm is the best time to hit the sack, if you scored -4, 2am is nookie time for you)
And so Samantha tried it, and this is what she got:
0/2 +10 x 30/3 x 1.5 = 150/60 = 2.5
So, since it's in the positive, I add two and a half hours to 6 am, and that means I need a visitor around 8:30 am.
I need hardly point out that if I try this, it violates a sacred rule of mathematics: the one about dividing by zero.
Posted at 6:16 AM to Table for One
Hmmm... Wonder what polynomials do with this... And does it also apply to "mono"-nomials? Or would that be "uni"-nomials?
"SF = sexual frequency per week"
Define 'sexual'. For that matter define 'frequency' and 'week.' 'Per' is pretty self-explanitory.
Nothing says you can't use your lifetime average. Or, if you remember calculus, you could take the limit of the function as SF approaches 0.
Interesting formula. I don't see any way to come up with a negative result. The "units of alcohol" term will only budge the result by half an hour or so, and that only if you're a lush.
What does it mean if my ideal time is always four and a half days from now?
So ideally I need some entertainment for my coffee break - but before lunch, which sounds very reasonable.
Now, if I were in the union...
I didn't actually do the math: once I noticed I had a denominator of zero at some point, I had both my answer and the hook for the post.
Chaz, I understood this to be a hypothetical exercise.
There's hypothetical and there's hypothetical, if you know what I mean.
I play an online stock-trading game which uses blogs as corporate entities. I built my original $500 stake up to $2.02 trillion, watched it crumble into dust, and have rebuilt back into the low billions. This is, of course, hypothetical.
But actual carnal activity? That's hypothetical.