The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

21 April 2006

The Nazgul going NASCAR

You can be a hobbit and still be a redneck. Possible indications:

  • You've got a bow rack on the back of your haywain.
  • The trailer park where you live is situated in the Dead Marshes.
  • Saruman refused to use you as breeding stock.
  • You're the wiseguy who sneaked out in the dead of night to affix the bumpersticker that reads "I Brake for Balrogs" on the back of Gandalf's cart.
  • You use the mirror of Galadriel as a spittoon.
  • You ask the singing Elves at Rivendell if they know any Merle Haggard.
  • An Ent tried to stomp you even AFTER he heard you talking.

This will no doubt get me barred from the Shire.

Posted at 8:15 PM to Bogus History