The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

21 May 2006

Don't play that song!

This is not a reference to the Ben E. King record from '62, the follow-up (with almost the same instrumental backing) to "Stand By Me," in which the singer seeks to avoid being reminded of unpleasant memories of a love affair gone sour.

Instead, it's an instruction to the machines that program radio stations today: some tracks should simply be skipped over, lest they give offense to the sort of people who sit around waiting for opportunities to be offended.

I'm working on a compilation of such tunes for personal, um, enjoyment, and I have just about enough to fill up a CD. The tentative track list follows:

  1. ZZ Top, "Tush" (sexist)
  2. The Contours, "First I Look at the Purse" (materialistic and sexist)
  3. Randy Newman, "Short People" (heightist)
  4. Tammy Wynette, "Stand By Your Man" (sexist)
  5. Ray Stevens, "Ahab the Arab" (ethnic stereotyping)
  6. Rex Allen, Jr., "Don't Go Near the Indians" (ethnic stereotyping)
  7. April Wine, "If You See Kay" (sexist, ill-concealed unacceptable language)
  8. Ginny Arnell, "Dumb Head" (sexist and then some)
  9. Joe Tex, "Ain't Gonna Bump No More" (inimical to body acceptance, also sexist)
  10. Arthur Godfrey, "Slap 'Er Down Again, Paw" (promotes domestic violence)
  11. Ian Thomas, "Painted Ladies" (celebrates prostitution)
  12. Lesley Gore, "That's the Way Boys Are" (sexist)
  13. Brute Force, "King of Fuh" (ill-concealed unacceptable language)
  14. Bobby Goldsboro, "Me Japanese Boy I Love You" (ethnic stereotyping)
  15. Joanie Sommers, "Johnny Get Angry" (promotes domestic violence)
  16. The Rolling Stones, "Brown Sugar" (sexist, ethnic stereotyping)
  17. 1910 Fruitgum Company, "Indian Giver" (ethnic stereotyping)
  18. Jerry Reed, "Another Puff" (celebrates smoking)
  19. The Crystals, "He Hit Me (And It Felt Like a Kiss)" (promotes domestic violence)
  20. The Dominoes, "Sixty-Minute Man" (sexist, heavily macho)
  21. Alan O'Day, "Skinny Girls" (inimical to body acceptance, also sexist)
  22. The O'Kaysions, "Girl Watcher" (sexist)
  23. Ray Charles, "Let's Go Get Stoned" (celebrates alcohol consumption)
  24. Sandy Posey, "Born a Woman" (sexist)
  25. Jimmy Soul, "If You Wanna Be Happy" (sexist, also inimical to body acceptance)
  26. Randy Newman, "Rednecks" (demographic stereotyping, also not-even-slightly-concealed unacceptable language)

Which, in its 75-minute aggregate, is one hell of a program, though I sense that it could still use some fine tuning. Suggestions will be entertained, and (I hope) entertaining as well.

Posted at 2:02 PM to Tongue and Groove

TrackBack: 3:35 PM, 4 June 2006
» Hey, You Can’t Play That! from
Well, you can, but if you’re the machine that programs most commercial radio stations today — and if you are, how are you reading this? — you’ve probably already been told not to, because there are people out there who will comp......[read more]

Nine Inch Nails, "F... You Like An Animal" (sexist, usage of harsh language)

Posted by: unimpressed at 7:06 PM on 21 May 2006

I've been trying to find the name/singer to a (seemingly 70s ish) country song in which the singer, a male, who sounds like Bobby Bare/David Allan Coe(?) sings rates the girls in a bar using the number scales, but then one of the girls he's rating turns the tables and starts rating him. Very funny stuff. Do you know it? Please post the Singer/song if you do. Thanks, Doug

Posted by: Doug Schmitt at 4:31 AM on 22 May 2006

Darn .... ZZ Top's Pearl Necklace didn't even rate :(

Posted by: Ron at 2:27 PM on 22 May 2006

Well, it rates, but I can't stand it. (Besides, "Tush" is way short: less than 2:15. Might actually make room for another song that way.)

Posted by: CGHill at 5:52 PM on 22 May 2006