Strange search-engine queries (218)

The stuff you see here is extracted from actual referrals to this site, compiled and edited, and audited to see if it qualifies as interstate commerce.

are there ipads left?  There’s a recession on. Surely there must be a few of them still unsold.

sexy sluts in iowa:  This is the sort of thing that hits you right in Des Moines.

mature sluts wearing ankle bracelets:  Will you accept applicants from Iowa?

“clarke street” “wichita” “named after”:  Chances are, it was someone named Clarke, but you never can tell with those wily Kansans.

i am losing my social skills:  Perhaps you should seek help, um, away from the computer?

democrats tend to drive:  So do Republicans, though they’re not so defensive about it.

why are donkeys called jackasses:  You need to watch more C-Span.

toads are annoying:  You will be reported to the Hypnotoad (all glory to him).

why cereal so soggy:  If you wanted it crunchy, you shouldn’t have poured milk all over it.

japanese tentacle porn:  It’s always perplexed me that there was never any Ukrainian tentacle porn.

some day I will get trashed at prom:  By all means, announce it now, so they can keep an eye on you that day.

“descendant of Mr. Pibb”:  Oddly, there’s not a single Dr. in the bunch.

Loose Mama With Truly Mind-Blowing Enormous Melons:  And they said the urban-gardening trend would never amount to anything.

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