If you’re constantly banging your shins into the furniture and only if you’re constantly banging your shins into the furniture you might be able to get away with this:
Then again, a commenter at Rose-Kim Knits grasped a wholly-different concept for this, um, garment:
So if you’re costuming a production of Twelfth Night, you’ve got Malvolio’s cross-garters right here. Wear them over yellow tights, and he’s set to be the butt of ridicule.
(Fillyjonk sent me this link, knowing it would peg my WTF meter.)