The paper is on a roll

I hate to respond to a perfectly good blog meme with a “Not Applicable,” but truth will out: I don’t actually read anything while seated on the throne.

The reason for this is twofold:

  1. The Army used to allow us something like 240 seconds to perform the Three S Functions (the other two being “shower” and “shave”) at 0-dark-hundred, and it got me into the habit of doing this sort of thing as quickly as possible;
  2. The otherwise-spacious layout of the palatial estate at Surlywood fails to put much “room” in “bathroom,” which may be one reason why the previous owner decided to sell. Little reason to linger when the walls are closing in on you.

Besides, as noted before, I don’t multitask very well.


  1. Jennifer »

    16 June 2010 · 9:25 am

    So something like this would not be of use to you

  2. CGHill »

    16 June 2010 · 10:10 am

    Probably not. There’s enough clearance for it, maybe, but the enthusiasm is decidedly lacking.

  3. Deb S. »

    16 June 2010 · 7:16 pm

    I don’t read in the bathroom either. It drive me absolutely bananas when people spend that much time in there with the door shut. And, by “bananas” I do mean irate. grrr.

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