Besides, they don’t like immersion

Why you should not try to baptize a cat:

I think that if you tried to baptize a cat, it would probably burst into flame as soon as it touched the holy water font. Cats are pure, concentrated, fur-covered evil. Satan’s oven mitts, one and all. I’d be surprised if they could pass the threshold of a church without spontaneously combusting.

Not to mention the fact that they appropriate all your base:

Zero Wing graphics


  1. Lynn »

    14 July 2010 · 7:26 am

    Not so! Cats are the sweetest creatures on Earth. Just because they aren’t willing to serve us and obey our every command doesn’t mean they’re evil. Frankly, I can never completely trust anyone who hates cats.

  2. CGHill »

    14 July 2010 · 7:55 am

    You have to remember, there are people who expect to be served, their every command to be obeyed. (There’s a large cluster of them in and around Washington, D.C.)

  3. John Salmon »

    14 July 2010 · 9:39 am

    The Church teaches that, in an emergency, anyone can perform a baptism. So it might be a worthy experiment to baptize one’s kitties. My sister has four, each with entirely different personalities and CIQ (cat IQ) levels. I fear, however, that baptizing each would merely result in wet, smelly cats that are even grouchier than usual.

  4. Lynn »

    14 July 2010 · 2:13 pm

    Charles – Exactly! When I find out that a person hates cats I naturally assume that they are the kind of person who expects to be obeyed and therefore not trustworthy. ;-)

    Of course, I would like to be obeyed but I don’t expect it.

  5. unimpressed »

    14 July 2010 · 7:45 pm

    What about those of us that hate(or just don’t like) -any- pets? Are we non-trustworthy as well?

  6. fillyjonk »

    15 July 2010 · 11:26 am

    I find myself more comfortable around cats than dogs. The flip side of having someone who is compliant and obedient can also be someone who is extremely needy of constant attention. (I have known dogs that did the equivalent of the “Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom?” thing with their owners)

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