Strange search-engine queries (238)

Another week, another trip through the referral logs, another round of “Somebody was actually looking for that?” Well, yes, somebody was. Life is like that sometimes.

who in the hell sends out those deceased inheritance spams?  Same people who send all the other spams: lazy, good-for-nothing SOBs who want maximum return on minimum effort.

“haul bituminous anthracite”:  That’s what we need to do with spammers: put them to work in a coal mine.

olive oyl nude:  Well, Swee’Pea had to come from somewhere.

tall and tan and young and lovely nudist:  Unless you happen to be at Ipanema, nudists tend to look like everyone else: not that tall, not that young, not that lovely. Although they do usually tan pretty well.

Larry Derryberry hairy fairy query:  We knew Mr Derryberry, who was the state Attorney General for eight years; he was not, so far as we could tell, all that hairy, and nothing about him seemed particularly fairylike.

kevin calvey indecent exposure:  Do I detect an attempt at rumormongering, just before the runoff election? Because I’m not aware of any such incident.

what partially lists to one side?  RMS Titanic did, though not for long.

too pretty to get hired:  We’ll never know, because we didn’t hire them.

is the sentence the alarm is loud conclusive or observation:  If the next sentence is “Turn off that goddamn alarm,” we may conclude that it was intended to be conclusive.

Proposed General Motors IPO Stock symbol:  Unfortunately, “BFD” has already been used.

“reflects an optimism that makes Pollyanna look positively Kafkaesque”:  I have the only result for this search, it being a direct quote from me, so I’m puzzled as to why anyone would be looking for it. (It wasn’t, I note, the person of whom I said it, unless she’s vacationing three time zones away.)


  1. Charles Pergiel »

    23 August 2010 · 10:36 pm

    partially lists? Is that even possible? Either it’s listing, or it’s not. Or maybe they mean only part of whatever-it-is is listing. That could be “partially lists”, but I can’t think of a situation where this phrase could be applied.

  2. CGHill »

    24 August 2010 · 7:25 am

    In the case of a steamship, perhaps a discontinuity between upper and lower decks: part of the vessel might have a definite list to it, while another part is still comparatively upright.

    What I know about ships and trains and boats and planes, though, wouldn’t fill a 45-rpm record, so take this with several grains of sea salt.

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