This AutoWeek test for automotive idiocy has its charming moments, but ultimately it’s aimed at the sort of tweedy folk who drive twee English wrecks with Lucas electrics, which describes very few of the people I see on the road around here. At the suggestion of Autoblog, I present herewith a list of indications that you, too, might be an automotive idiot.
- You react as though you were slapped in the face when someone mentions that your Lexus is after all just a juiced-up Toyota. (Similarly for Acura/Honda and Infiniti/Nissan.)
- You feel compelled to boast about the superior quality of German engineering while your Jetta is in the shop for the third time in six months.
- You pretend not to notice that your ride quality has gone to hell since you installed those ridiculous 19-inch wheels.
- You believe that four-wheel-drive makes you immune to the effects of winter precipitation.
- You think it’s good for the car to spend ten minutes in the driveway warming up. (It’s not, and what’s more, you’re getting 0 mpg while you’re doing it.)
- You believe that going 56 in the left lane in a 60 zone is proof that you are a Good Person.
- Your speed decreases as you move up the onramp.
- You put a load of stuff in the trunk to improve winter traction and you have a front-wheel-drive car.
- You have no idea what you’re going to do now that you’ve missed your exit.
- You’ll just take this one phone call, it might be important.
I could probably go on all day, but that would take all the fun out of the comments, assuming I get any.