The text goes on from there:
“She comes from the Land of Snow and Ice. She will wrinkle your tie and tousle your hair. Your friends won’t understand. Turn away. She is stark and glorious and chilled. Her body is high-speed tooled from a solid billet of pure adrenaline. She will scar your soul if you don’t back down.”
This actually appears in a current ad for Saab’s 9-5.
Admittedly, Saab USA sold only 290 cars last month, so they have to move some metal, but if this pitch actually works, Ford ought to revive Mercury and bring back a specially-equipped Grand Marquis de Sade Edition.