And then there was a bit of logrolling

The New Republic is happy, we assume, to bring us a baker’s dozen examples of really godawful sex scenes written by people associated with politics.

A relatively mild example, from Barbara Boxer’s 2005 novel A Time to Run:

“Her skirt was very short, and Josh found himself mesmerized by her perfectly shaped, silken legs with kneecaps that reminded him of golden apples — he couldn’t remember having been captivated by knees before — and her lustrous thighs. He tore his eyes away from Bianca’s legs with the utmost difficulty.”

At least one standard deviation worse, from William Weld’s Stillwater: A Novel (2002):

“I set the edge of my teeth halfway up her breast, just at the point of tension but not, so far as I could tell, of pain. This was the sweetest flesh I had ever tasted, including fish and fowl.”

The least bad of the bunch are by Glenn Beck (!) and Al Franken (!!), but they’re still pretty bad. And I caution you: do not even think about reading Scooter Libby’s. (Thoughtfully, TNR has put it at the back of the pack.)

I suspect that this reflects a usage issue: to politicians, “screwing” is always a transitive verb.

4 comments

  1. fillyjonk »

    8 December 2010 · 8:29 am

    It’s a really good thing you can’t see my expression right now. It’s somewhere frozen between disgust, horror, and sheer WTF?-itude.

  2. fillyjonk »

    8 December 2010 · 8:30 am

    It also occurs to me that there’s a “Laws and sausages” joke in there somewhere, but I’m sure not gonna be the one to make it.

  3. nightfly »

    8 December 2010 · 2:52 pm

    Y’know, Beck and Franken are at least professional writers. What the bouncing blue blazes is BARBARA BOXER doing writing a novel? And who’s the sucker who bought and published it?

  4. McGehee »

    8 December 2010 · 5:37 pm

    Who are the suckers who bought and read it?

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