Neither shalt thou gawk

And so it was that the deacon found himself in an uncomfortable position. She was easily within his field of vision, but he dared not look:

[H]e wanted to look at her, but he did not. No, it would have been a sin to look at her. So he gritted his teeth and made damn sure his eyes did not touch her alluring form.

This is a half-step beyond my own avoidance technique: I end up sneaking the glance, which I then blame on hormonal action, and then spend the next several minutes looking in every other direction and berating myself for a weakness of the flesh.

Racer X, from whom I poached the story of the deacon, sees no point in that sort of behavior:

Lust is when you let your desires completely take control of your reason, and you begin doing things that harm yourself and others in pursuit of that lust. The strange fact of traditional Christian teaching is that it does not take into consideration that most women enjoy being “lusted” after, if you take that to mean they enjoy the desires of a virile, masculine man who is not afraid to be a man. Women dislike prudish men. In fact, I have heard many women say that they find the sight of men preaching about chastity a little weird and creepy.

I suspect it reaches an apex of weirdness and/or creepiness right about the point where the guy goes into “Do as I say, not as I do” mode.

Still, I suggest that there are more working definitions of “prudish” than there are actual prudes: the word, over the years, has become more dismissively pejorative than actually descriptive.


  1. McGehee »

    31 January 2011 · 8:44 am

    I just don’t want to be caught looking, for fear of being accused of staring.

    It has happened.

  2. Tatyana »

    31 January 2011 · 11:23 am

    Your avoidance technique? But you’re not a deacon, or some other kind of a self-imposed hypocritical chastity freak
    *with sudden suspicion*: Are you?

    when I was on a visit to London I was pleasantly surprised: men there do not chicken out when one notices them looking (staring, if you will, McG). It was nice to feel appreciated.

  3. CGHill »

    31 January 2011 · 11:33 am

    Same reason I stay out of the auto dealer except for service, and I don’t hang around for that: I am too easily distracted, and it usually costs me dearly.

  4. Tatyana »

    31 January 2011 · 11:43 am

    you’re saying you are not a prude, but prudent


  5. Jeff Brokaw »

    31 January 2011 · 2:32 pm

    The PUA thing has shed new light for some of us on what draws women in. Wish I had known that back in 1975! Thanks, Alan Alda!

    Or maybe the PUA thing is a backlash by women against that dopey Alan Alda 1970s vibe. How stupid were we, believing that crap: what women *really* want is sensitivity. Really? Tell that to today’s 20-something women, who are surrounded by “emo” dipshits they can’t stand.

    Or maybe a little of both. Who knows? Keeping up with what women want is either really complicated and changes all the time, or they’ve always wanted the same things, and we’ve all been stupid to listen to people saying otherwise. I’m starting to think the latter.

    As for staring, I’ve never knowingly been caught doing this. I guess I’m pretty subtle about it. Oh, except that one fight I got into with my college gf … good times! And it’s probably happened a few times when I didn’t notice, too. But when you look at what women (and girls) wear today, well, maybe you were expecting nobody to stare at your skin-tight clothes? Obviously nobody really cares about being stared at, any more. How could they? It’s just part of the landscape now.

  6. canadienne »

    31 January 2011 · 10:47 pm

    Ya know, dude, different women might want different things. We are not all the same, you know.

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