Strange search-engine queries (262)

This weekly feature is based on the premise that some people are looking for really peculiar things on the Web, and that cheap laffs can be elicited by mentioning them here. It’s worked for about five years now.

weird search engine that tells too much about you:  Um, you brought this on yourself by looking for those things, Bunkie.

minneapolis switch on automatic transmission:  Far as I know, they get the same slushboxes in the Twin Cities as do the rest of us, and I’ve actually seen people in Bloomington using turn signals occasionally.

peugeot no handbrake:  I’m guessing you’re not in Minneapolis.

genius mixes marry me:  Somewhere, an iTunes programming-team member is smiling.

“all the sex I’m ever going to have”:  Perhaps you should compile a Genius Mix.

ann coulter nude fake:  The quest for wank material goes ever on.

cast your fate to the wind where does it come from:  Well, let’s see. Wind comes from out of the sky; fate comes from either (1) three women pulling strings or (2) something equally inscrutable.

the comparison of the farmers and miners:  Farmers work long hours above ground; miners work long hours below ground. (Next time do your own damn homework.)

will snorting lady bubbles bath salts make you fail a drug screen?  Perhaps not, but if that’s your idea of fun you need to work some long hours in a mine.

manager desirability curve:  I try my best to avoid desiring curvy managers.

“what’s the climate like today?” asks the teacher. What is wrong with the teacher’s question?”  She asked Al Gore.


  1. Jeffro »

    7 February 2011 · 7:56 am

    I find myself intrigued – what the hell is a Minneapolis switch?

  2. CGHill »

    7 February 2011 · 7:59 am

    I’m guessing the guy broke his shifter and is looking for a place in the Twin Cities to fix it, but will move heaven and earth to avoid taking it to an actual dealership.

  3. Baby M »

    7 February 2011 · 9:23 am

    I think the “Minneapolis switch” is what actuates the twin(s) solenoid.

  4. Roberta X »

    10 February 2011 · 5:12 pm

    “Cast Your Fate To The Wind:” here (Okay cover) or the bettter-known Vince Guaraldi Trio version.

    …You kids and your damn’ Beach Boys records….

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