Putting the bite on George

You won’t have George W. Bush to kick around chew on anymore, at least if you’re a terrier:

Up in Sonoma there are sticks and fence lizards and rotting deer carcasses and all manner of great things to play with. But Oscar has always been very clear about his preference for his Dubya Doll. Well, to be truthful, he’d trade Dubya for a squeeky ball, but Oscar is banned from any toy that squeeks. Squeeky things make him more batshit crazy than Charlie Sheen. (Believe me, you don’t want Charlie Sheen attitude in a terrier body.) So George W. Bush has remained the chew toy of choice for most of Oscar’s short life.

A squeeky W. would absolutely drive this poor dog bonkers. (Is there a Charlie Sheen chew toy?)

But apparently production has ended on the Bush 43 model:

I found the site for the manufacturer and was initially excited to see that the Dubya toy is marked down on most sites. Sadly, further reading and browsing found that the toy has been discontinued and is not available, except for a few models at ridiculous prices on eBay. In fact, it seems political chew toys have fallen out of favor altogether. In a fit of bi-partisanship, I briefly considered the “Bark” Obama toy, but it, too, is discontinued.

Where does that leave little Oscar? Any of you crafty people want to sew up a John Boehner or Michele Bachmann chew toy?

A Boehner chew toy, I suspect, would be like Jackie Wilson’s pillow in “Lonely Teardrops”: it never dries out.

1 comment

  1. Lisa Paul »

    10 March 2011 · 1:20 pm

    Help may be on the way. Some crafters have offered to make little Oscar a John Boehner chew toy. But I’ve warned that it better be knit out of Teflon and designed to MilSpec. There’s a reason they call them terriers…

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