I’d rather be in Filetdelphia

We don’t check in with People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals too often, perhaps for the same reason we don’t watch Jersey Shore: you’ve seen one train wreck, you’ve seen ’em all. We did, however, acknowledge their 2004 effort to persuade Slaughterville, Oklahoma to change its name, and I suppose they ought to be congratulated for maintaining their focus all these years:

With city officials contemplating a proposal to rejuvenate the struggling Mid-Market and Tenderloin with a payroll tax break to lure more businesses to the two neighborhoods, the activist organization People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals suggests another way to — at least — revitalize the Tenderloin: Rename it the Tempeh District after the protein-packed fermented soybean product.

”The city deserves a neighborhood named after a delicious cruelty-free food instead of the flesh of an abused animal,” PETA’s executive vice president, Tracy Reiman, wrote in a letter sent Tuesday to Mayor Ed Lee.

I’ve eaten enough soy in my lifetime to reject utterly anybody’s claim that the stuff is “cruelty-free”: it’s sure as hell cruel to my insides. Not that PETA would care about that sort of thing.

Captain Joe Garrity, who commands the Tenderloin police station, has a better idea: “Lipitor.” Yes, really:

After all, it’s a drug used to help combat high cholesterol of which eating red meat can be a contributing cause, and it could be a corporate sponsor to help pay for city services.

And Lipitor could use the publicity: the first generic will arrive late this year.

(Once again, via a Nancy Friedman tweet.)


  1. galligator »

    1 April 2011 · 11:52 am

    This >>> I’ve eaten enough soy in my lifetime to reject utterly anybody’s claim that the stuff is “cruelty-free”.

    Thank you.

  2. fillyjonk »

    1 April 2011 · 12:10 pm

    Actually, “Tenderloin,” as a geographical term, has another, rather more red-light meaning. Or so I’ve been told. I mean, I suppose there’s still meat involved, but it’s not steer meat….

  3. unimpressed »

    1 April 2011 · 3:51 pm

    @fillyjonk, then wouldn’t “Penicillin” be a more apt choice for the new name? :)

  4. grannie elbow »

    1 April 2011 · 8:19 pm

    This is one of the 10 most completely and insanely perfect bog posts ever made on the internet. I salute you!

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