Strange search-engine queries (275)

It was a complicated mission: sneak into the place where the server logs are kept, secure a list of all the intel being sought, then depart quickly. And should anyone get in the way — well, I hear Davy Jones has some extra locker space these days.

unhandy shoes:  It could be worse. Suppose they were unfooty?

Who must die?  There’s a complete list here, starting at about 4:51.

is gender reassignment surgery covered on insurance:  Usually not, though I’d like to see them claim that it’s a pre-existing condition.

carly foulkes gained weight:  I blame AT&T, but then I blame everything on AT&T.

inverse gentrification:  See also “Detroit,” or maybe “Sudan.”

nude for yogurt advertising in korea 2003:  It occurs to me that I have never seen anyone eating yogurt while nude.

does christine o’donnell weigh the same as a duck:  I’m not even sure she’s made out of wood.

how did america adopt oatmeal:  A great outpouring of compassion; they couldn’t very well just leave it there sitting in the bowl, now could they?

when a man like mutt lange says he grew apart from his wife does that mean they are no longer sexually active?  Said Shania: “That don’t impress me much.”

If you accidentally spill phosphorus-32 onto your show, how long would it take before 99.9% of the material has decayed so that you can safely wear the shoes again:  Phosphorus-32 has a half-life of 14.3 days, so technically, about three months. However, we’re talking phosphorus here, so the shoes are probably ruined anyway.

is dwayne one syllable:  It increases 0.06 syllable for each degree of latitude south. By the time you get to, say, Tallahassee, it’s nearly two syllables.

can two hearts sync:  Yes, if one of them isn’t mine.

1 comment

  1. McGehee »

    9 May 2011 · 7:55 am

    Hearts!? About 20% of the time I can’t even get my iPhone to sync.

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