In this weekly feature, we sort through seven days’ worth of logs, we find the funniest or lamest or least-explicable search strings, and then we unaccountably fail to tweet them to unsuspecting college students. It works a lot better than you’d think.
birdhackles: If they’re presented to you, you may assume that you have annoyed the bird.
eggplant care: I never much cared for eggplant, actually.
whose transmission is in the Ford Escape: The broken one that needs a replacement? Yours.
will yellow color be ok for woman with 2 Kua number? Only if she’s facing west.
why does the new camaro resemble a mustang: Pony cars tend to look alike. So do ponies, come to think of it.
i am therefore i think you are therefore you stink: You wouldn’t say that if I had a bitchin’ Camaro. Or a Mustang, not that you could tell them apart or anything.
can’t walk to the store bad urban planning: Or you could just get yourself a bitchin’ Camaro. Or a Mustang, not that you could tell them apart or anything.
what is the motivation behind bestiality? The realization that your entire species spurns you. And if they didn’t before, they will now.
sonicstage won’t import from iTunes: Won’t work the other way around, either. Damned old proprietary formats.
“oklahoma” “republicans” “ban everything”: Naw. Just taxes and Democrats. And it would never work, mostly because once they got rid of the taxes their salaries would stop.
washington drivers suck: I theorize that the Beltway drives them insane.
opposite of joyride: Whatever it is, I’m sure it involves the D.C. Beltway.