Strange search-engine queries (279)

In this weekly feature, we sort through seven days’ worth of logs, we find the funniest or lamest or least-explicable search strings, and then we unaccountably fail to tweet them to unsuspecting college students. It works a lot better than you’d think.

birdhackles:  If they’re presented to you, you may assume that you have annoyed the bird.

eggplant care:  I never much cared for eggplant, actually.

whose transmission is in the Ford Escape:  The broken one that needs a replacement? Yours.

will yellow color be ok for woman with 2 Kua number?  Only if she’s facing west.

why does the new camaro resemble a mustang:  Pony cars tend to look alike. So do ponies, come to think of it.

i am therefore i think you are therefore you stink:  You wouldn’t say that if I had a bitchin’ Camaro. Or a Mustang, not that you could tell them apart or anything.

can’t walk to the store bad urban planning:  Or you could just get yourself a bitchin’ Camaro. Or a Mustang, not that you could tell them apart or anything.

what is the motivation behind bestiality?  The realization that your entire species spurns you. And if they didn’t before, they will now.

sonicstage won’t import from iTunes:  Won’t work the other way around, either. Damned old proprietary formats.

“oklahoma” “republicans” “ban everything”:  Naw. Just taxes and Democrats. And it would never work, mostly because once they got rid of the taxes their salaries would stop.

washington drivers suck:  I theorize that the Beltway drives them insane.

opposite of joyride:  Whatever it is, I’m sure it involves the D.C. Beltway.


  1. canadienne »

    6 June 2011 · 4:27 pm

    Speaking of pony cars, I think the Hyundai Pony is a different class of equine.

    I got a battery for my Hyundai Pony.
    Well, I figured it was a fair trade.
    -Jim McAleese

  2. CGHill »

    6 June 2011 · 5:11 pm

    Not to mention the Hyundai Equus, which exceeds any conceivable automotive budget of mine.

    (Here in the States, they never did send us the Pony; the first Hyundai we got was the Excel. I’m told the Pony sold quite well in Canada.)

  3. canadienne »

    6 June 2011 · 11:15 pm

    Jim McAleese has a funny monologue about his Pony in the first part of this:
    Apparently all your country was missing by not getting the Pony was comedy material.

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