Around lunchtime (Whataburger, thank you very much), it finally dawned on me, and while the Fates (Bob and Wendy Fate, of Great Neck, New York) weren’t addressing me directly, it sounded like their voices:

“Here’s the deal. You’ve got your own house, you’ve got better wheels than some billionaires, and your waistline is diminishing week by week. Be content with that.”

Which, when you get right down to it, is probably a hair kinder than “No, you can’t have a girlfriend.”


  1. McGehee »

    9 March 2007 · 3:18 pm

    Losing weight is indeed a good thing. I already have the slightly smaller pants from before I put these few pounds on in the first place, but at least the numbers — and the stub end of the belt– are moving in the right direction.

  2. Francis W. Porretto »

    9 March 2007 · 6:34 pm

    Who says you can’t have a girlfriend?

  3. Diane »

    9 March 2007 · 7:34 pm

    Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm! I quit taking Zocor because it gave me a headache but I still have quite a bit left. If it will drop my chinos to the floor I’ll take a few aspirin and forget the headache.

  4. gail »

    9 March 2007 · 8:27 pm

    That’s a mighty fine piece of writing there, pardner.

  5. CGHill »

    9 March 2007 · 8:38 pm

    My own thinking is that the combination of Zocor and a diuretic (which is part of my hypertension regime) is basically turning me into a liquid, and eventually I’ll disappear down the pipes.

    Oh, and there’s this:

    Who says you can’t have a girlfriend?

    Presumably the same entity who ensures that I always fall for those I can never have.

  6. Miriam »

    11 March 2007 · 4:07 pm

    You certainly could have a girlfriend. There are some fine women out there looking for someone like you. If I were younger…

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