Next Top Ten Demands of Occupy Wall Street movement:
- Unemployment benefits extended to 99 years
- New logo for Bank of AmeriKKKa
- Tim Tebow off television forever
- Selective Service reactivated to select dates for Janeane Garofalo
- Government to ration meat, Michael Moore to receive first batch of ration coupons
- Investment bank to be renamed “Goldman Sucks”
- Jersey Shore recast with progressives, plus Snooki
- Global Temperature Saving enacted, thermometers to be set back 5 degrees in March, forward again in November
- Double Rainbow Guy to be named Secretary of something
- More cowbell!
The movement reserves the right to change its mind without notice.