Strange search-engine queries (301)

Just once, I’d like to see something like this in the server logs, somewhere among the two-fifths of site visitors who arrive here via random searches:

“I am a person who wants to know things, or thinks he wants to know things. My desire for knowledge is exceeded only by my apparent inability to construct a functional search string. I am forced to scroll through hundreds of items to find the one I really want. Google must accept its responsibility to give me what I want, when I want it. I am the 40%.”

In the meantime, we have these:

“You have my full attention” meaning:  I’m sorry, did you say something?

normal rpm’s for a 96 mazda 626:  If it’s not running, zero. If it is running, higher than that.

making a poster about yourself “learn me better”:  And then bring it to English class and see if anyone notices.

transmission revil kit:  Just go to the customer waiting area of any auto repair shop. You’ll hear many transmissions being reviled.

illuminati hobby lobby david green:  I guess someone found out that Mr Green drives a Fnord F-150.

millionaire women ann Taylor loft:  If you’re that anxious to meet them, there are better places to stalk them.

silly gifts like bladeless knives without handles:  What’s silly about that? No moving parts, no choking hazard, no danger whatsoever. The government would certainly approve.

oklahoma rejects daylight saving time:  Um, no. What we reject is silly gifts like bladeless knives without handles.

lesbiterians:  Third-fastest growing denomination, trailing only the Methheadists and the Faptists.

halloween pranks naked:  Not a good idea, for two reasons: (1) it’s damn near November, and (2) someone without a costume tends to stand out.

why do they say don’t play with your food:  Because you might lose, and wouldn’t that be embarrassing, coming second best to a plate full of Brussels sprouts?

solutions of charles g. hill:  Forget it. That sucker won’t dissolve in anything.

Comments are closed.