Nest egg insufficiently laid

The guys who handle my 401(k) evidently use ScareMonger™ software to produce their projections: they’re now claiming that if I’m to have the same none-too-comfortable existence after retirement, I need to be socking away somewhere around 127 percent of my income. This, needless to say, is not an option.

Then again, interest rates are in the toilet, the Fed having decided that it’s more important for Goldman Sachs to be able to suck down dollars through a straw than it is for sad sacks like me to be able to stash them away. I have a smallish money-market account in the far corner, but I haven’t tossed it any coin in recent years, simply because the returns were so poor. And “coin” is the operative word; last year, in fact, the account lost one cent.

However, I did show a positive return (even before employer match) for the year; the biggest percentage gain, ironically, came from a since-closed Goldman Sachs large-cap fund.


  1. fillyjonk »

    13 January 2012 · 1:37 pm

    I’ve decided at this point that I will be happy if I don’t wind up having to work as a “greeter” at Wal-Mart or whatever the mid-21st-century version of it will be during my declining years.

    But yeah, I keep expecting to get the letter from the bank where they start charging ME interest to “protect” my money for me….

  2. Jess »

    13 January 2012 · 1:48 pm

    I’m beginning to think that 401 K is a hidden reference to the smallest caliber round that will be acceptable in varmit hunting unethical politicians and their money handlers. The way things are going, you sure don’t want to wing one and allow them to breed again.

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