I assume someone will read this

Way back in the last century (well, okay, 1999):

The chief executive officer of Sun Microsystems said Monday that consumer privacy issues are a “red herring.”

“You have zero privacy anyway,” Scott McNealy told a group of reporters and analysts Monday night at an event to launch his company’s new Jini technology. “Get over it.”

Sun is long gone — assimilated into Oracle — but most assuredly, nothing has changed:

“Dammit, your employer can make you take a physical. They can run a credit check. They can make you urinate in a Dixie cup. They can make you wear orange spandex short shorts and a crop top, and you’re worried that they might see those pictures of you naked at that pool party with a lampshade on your head and shotgunning Ernest & Julio’s best straight from the spigot on the box?

“Honey, thirty seconds after you put those pictures on the internet, some teenager in Latvia was wanking to them and /b/tards were using them to make lolcats. The privacy horse is out of the barn, down the road, over the horizon, and the Visigoths have burned the barn, and NOW you’re worried about it? Just for that, you ought to get a groping AND a porn-o-scan the next time you’re at the airport!”

This is not to say that your only hope in this day and age is to be as boring as I am, but it probably wouldn’t hurt. Much.


  1. Lori »

    27 March 2012 · 10:15 pm

    Lol @ “porn-o-scan.”

  2. McGehee »

    28 March 2012 · 7:12 am

    On the bright side, the picture from the pool party might actually protect against the mandatory physical, the credit check, and the peeing in a cup. Employers can’t make you do a damned thing if they don’t hire you.

  3. JC »

    28 March 2012 · 10:11 am

    “Way back in the last /scenturys/ millenium (well, okay, 1999):”

RSS feed for comments on this post