If you’re just tuning in — and where have you been? — this is a weekly exercise in which we look at what was sought by Googlers and Askers and Yahoos and such, and make fun of as many of their searches as possible.
clothing optional beaches in oklahoma: Wait a minute. There are beaches in Oklahoma?
don’t start sentences with it: It just wouldn’t be proper.
suppository fanfiction: Right. Like there aren’t enough assholes in real life.
hoosier daddy in donald duck voice: Now, now, we don’t talk about Unca Scrooge’s trip to South Bend.
how much is my vintage McDonalds item worth? If it’s an actual sandwich, probably not much.
gorgeous person in distress: There’s about 60 percent of contemporary fiction, right there.
maureen dowd siblings: “Are there any more like you at home?” he asked fearfully.
is infiniti i30 a chick car: Mine isn’t. In fact, it doesn’t interest the chicks at all.
nudist wears pantyhose: Must be a work day.
backplane sex: Is this how you get motherboards?
weed whacker powered bicycle: You might not want to ride this while wearing shorts.
average women naked photos: On average, women won’t pose for naked photos.
creep ogles tall women: The creeps I know don’t discriminate on the basis of height.