Overcooked copypasta

If you don’t want to lug around War and Peace — and if you don’t routinely bench 240, you probably don’t — there’s always the trusty e-book reader, which will not fail you, mostly:

Although I am committed to supporting my neighborhood independent book store (Books to be Red), and enjoying honest-to-goodness books, the .99 Nook edition was so lightweight that it has made reading War and Peace a genuine pleasure. For those of you who have not tackled this tome as yet, it is a page-turner.

As I was reading, I came across this sentence: “It was as if a light had been Nookd in a carved and painted lantern…” Thinking this was simply a glitch in the software, I ignored the intrusive word and continued reading. Some pages later I encountered the rogue word again.

The third time prompted the unearthing of the hard copy, and the following discovery:

For the sentence above I discovered this genuine translation: “It was as if a light had been kindled in a carved and painted lantern…”

Someone at Barnes and Noble (a twenty year old employee? or maybe the CEO?) had substituted every incidence of “kindled” with “Nookd!”

Smooth move, B&N. What do you do with, say, Lynne Cherry’s The Great Kapok Tree: A Tale of the Amazon Rain Forest?

And it gets better:

What this reader should really be outraged about is the fact that he spent $.99 on an e-book when there are other editions — most likely with the exact same text, sans the “Nookd” goof — available for absolutely nothing.

And now I’m hearing Edwin Starr in the back of my head: “War and Peace! Unnnh! Good God, y’all! What does it sell for? Absolutely nothing!

Were Starr still alive, he’d walk twenty-five miles to kick my behind for that.


  1. fillyjonk »

    5 June 2012 · 7:12 am

    No, seriously, if they want to do “stealth advertising” they should offer the product for free or a steep discount. Or warn people.

    I’d be distinctly annoyed to find that kind of tinkering with a text I was reading. Even if I hadn’t paid for it. It’s like the worst kind of product placement, because it doesn’t even make sense. (I will refrain from commenting on the fact that the new Bond movie apparently shows Bond drinking a particular brand of beer rather than his trademark martini)

  2. Charles Pergiel »

    5 June 2012 · 1:06 pm

    It just occurred to me that you probably cannot sell used e-books.

  3. Nicole »

    5 June 2012 · 3:10 pm

    Makes me wonder now if instances of “nook” are replaced with “kindle” on the competing product…

  4. Violins and Starships »

    5 June 2012 · 10:22 pm

    Don’t Get Nookd…

    Another reason I’m glad I bought a Kindle. When I want to read a classic I usually download it from Project Gutenberg…

  5. fillyjonk »

    6 June 2012 · 7:11 am

    Even though this occurrence was probably some idiot find-and-replace software glitch (and not a prank or malicious), it does show me how simple it would be to alter “texts” in their e-book format.

    I think I’ll stick to the dead-tree versions for now. (Also, I already have enough “book” books to probably last me for the rest of my life…and I have a distinct distaste for having to re-buy “favorites” of things (e.g., record –> tape –> CD) as the technology changes)

  6. Barks in the Country »

    10 June 2012 · 9:58 am

    B&N is rightfully paranoid.

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