Looking in Alderaan places

Luke Skywalker blew up the Death Star? Not a chance, says Brian J.:

Come on, reason it out: Skywalker was a seventeen-year-old moisture farm boy suffering from post-concussion syndrome whose experience piloting a small attack craft was cruising along the surface of Tatooine in a hovercraft and a couple of hours riding on the Millennium Falcon. Lucas wants you to believe he just suited up, hopped into a short range attack fighter, fought dogfights in the three-dimensional and zero gravity environment of space, and blew up an attack station?

Of course, Noggle has The Answer — for now. I figure, if George Lucas lives to be 100, he’ll have revised the story six times more, and Jar Jar Binks will have served at least one term as Emperor.


  1. JT »

    23 August 2012 · 12:12 pm

    So, would one of Jar Jar’s lines be: “Issa lightning gonna shoot from my eyes?”

  2. McGehee »

    23 August 2012 · 1:43 pm

    Why am I not surprised Noggle is a Death Star Truther?

    Of course, I still think it was an inside job — the Emperor ordered the first Death Star destroyed to justify more military adventures in the Hoth sector and seizing private facilities like Calrissian’s Vanna gas mine.

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