Dilated to hear it

The fun part of this whole Incurable Disease thing is the sudden demand for tests, retests, and retests of retests. My eyeballs haven’t changed much, except for a slightly-less-thin veneer of bleariness early in the morning, in the last thirty years, but now I must go and submit myself to the ministrations of a specialist every twelve months or so.

It is, I suspect, one of God’s little jokes that I have been assigned (my regular doctor set up this appointment without input from me) to a specialist who is extremely easy on the eyes. Not that I’m in a position to notice such a thing, after drops and more drops. I did finally manage to decipher the new glasses prescription, and it’s within scratching distance of my old glasses prescription. (In the interim, there were bifocals, which I refuse to wear on the grounds that constantly jerking my head back and forth gives me a headache. If I need a headache, I can simply drive to work.)

Curiously, my astigmatism is apparently less stiggy these days; in the Nineties, it was so bad that if I brought up the possibility of corrective surgery I would have been laughed out of the examining room. I have to figure, though, that surgical techniques surely have improved since then. Otherwise: no cataracts, no glaucoma, no macular degeneration, no blood vessels about to go troppo, and only slightly impaired side vision, off to the left. (Whether this means a decrease in depth perception, I don’t know. If you’re a regular reader, you’ve probably wondered if you were ever going to perceive any depth here.)

I consider this a cleaner bill of health than I had any right to expect. On the downside, the mystery liquid that blows up one’s pupils to the size of a dime took a long time to wear off.


  1. McGehee »

    28 August 2008 · 8:48 am

    I haven’t perceived much depth on the left since Mondale-Ferraro.

  2. ms7168 »

    28 August 2008 · 9:17 am

    I hate it when they dilate my pupils. Even using the mildest formula for doing it and applying the stuff afterward that should stop it I still have nearly a days worth of discomfort.

  3. fillyjonk »

    28 August 2008 · 9:52 am

    My eye doctor has some kind of new glaucoma test that requires this horrible topical anesthetic being dropped into them. I hate eyedrops to begin with but I hate this one with a particular passion. It leaves my eyes feeling weird and sticky. One’s eyes should never feel sticky.

    My eyes are watering now just thinking about it.

  4. Thomas »

    28 August 2008 · 4:33 pm

    I hear that Glucosamine, you know that stuff that helps your joints (worked in my case) also helps with cataracts.

  5. unimpressed »

    29 August 2008 · 4:23 pm

    I’ve never had the “privilege” of having that stuff put in my eyes.

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