Strange search-engine queries (349)

Monday morning means another trip through the logs, in which we find the freshest and most implausible search records available, wipe them down with Mitt Romney’s handkerchief, and present them to the readers, who will promptly close this tab and go read Fark or something.

physics: mary and daryl are new to the sport of rock climbing. mary says she wants a stiff rope because a stiff rope is a strong rope. daryl insists that a good climbing rope much have some stretch. who is correct and why:  Whichever one is not found crushed to death at the bottom of the pile was correct.

answer plot map for no more victims:  You’re not one of those who watch it just for the plots, are you?

itunes cannot run because:  It’s iTunes. Screw you. That’s why.

enemal  “I am not an enemal! I am a 3x girl!”

is metaphor tablet for insomnia:  Take ½ hour before bedtime, then spend an hour wondering what it was you meant by that.

“fembots” “Khrushchev”:  “We will bury you! And then we will make sweet mechanical love in Kremlin.”

yield frontier seize receipt retrieve diesel caffeine routine magazine suite unique curious antique bikini put in alphabetical order:  You know, there is such a thing as too much OCD.

modifying tennis racket fly swatter toss stun gun:  Ladies and gentlemen, your 2015 Swiss Army knife.

has dolly parton slwaus had nice legs:  Always. And what the hell kind of word is “slwaus”? Is this part of the new auto-incorrect function?

Too young to be a slut:  Yeah, that’s what they said about Honey Boo Boo.

dilithium crystals delorean:  Unfortunately, not compatible with the first-generation flux capacitor.

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