I’m assuming it wasn’t Tang

The original title of this piece, judging by the URL, was “Energy drink with controversial name unwelcome in neighborhood store.” And, judging by the circumlocutions, unwelcome in the news copy:

There are dozens of energy drinks on the market, but a new product has a name that’s causing a stir in a Houston neighborhood.

“I think it’s disgraceful,” said Emma Broussard, an officer with the Independence Heights Super Neighborhood Association. “I don’t want this out here.”

Other members of the association agreed.

“This is not the kind of thing we want our children to see,” said John Branch.

The drink uses a slang term that refers to part of the female anatomy.

And if you’re a normal person of an age in double digits, you might well have thought something worse than the actual name of the product.

No, really. Consider “Greenback Dollar,” a hit for the Kingston Trio in 1963. On the 45, the first line of the chorus is “And I don’t give a [guitar strum] about a greenback dollar,” leaving you to imagine what went ungiven. (If you paid five bucks for the LP, you found out.)

Mulva Dolores was not available for comment.


  1. Jeffro »

    2 February 2013 · 3:11 pm

    Heh. It was not what Animal Mother in Full Metal Jacket said about the word he’d prefer were his nads to be blown off.

  2. Tatyana »

    2 February 2013 · 4:29 pm

    Er…in what sense is it “in good fun”? How a soda water is connected to part of female anatomy? No, I understand certain obsessed individuals can (and do) tie everything with it, but – not everyone is a pimply teenager, are they?
    Not that I approve of dropping a product on “moral grounds”, especially by executive order – I just don’t think this particular aspect of so-called British dry wit is remotely appealing

  3. fillyjonk »

    3 February 2013 · 7:42 am

    Normally comments on newspaper sites and the like just make me sad, but the level of OUTRAGE over people having had their TIME WASTED because the article didn’t actually use the offensive term in question….well, it was pretty funny.

    (And yeah, I was expecting it to be something “worse” than what it actually was. Though still: gross.)

  4. CGHill »

    3 February 2013 · 11:11 am

    “I came here to read dirty words, dammit!”

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