Live by the Golden Drool

Fingerprinting? Too much trouble. Retinal scan? Get that thing away from my face. Here’s the, or at least a, future of Positive ID:

We finally meet extraterrestrials and they’re friendly and want to do business with us. But they think our habit of signing everything is primitive and hilarious. They have devices that can instantly scan and identify DNA in saliva so they “sign” documents by spitting on them. Humans being the way we are, some people find this amusing, some people think it’s unsanitary, gross, and offensive, some people consider anything involving DNA a violation of their privacy, but about 80% of the people are just like, “Alright, whatever.”

Which is probably enough to get the other 20 percent in line, don’t you think?


  1. tioedong »

    20 March 2013 · 9:19 pm

    I can think of an easy way to get someone else’s DNA in your spit, but since this is a family blog, I will refrain from the technical details.

  2. CGHill »

    20 March 2013 · 11:00 pm

    My gratitude is incalculable. :)

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