Pumped-up Kickstarters

Taylor was a backer of that Kickstarter to finance a new Veronica Mars movie, and apparently she’s caught some flak about it:

Are you really going to give Millionaire Kristen Bell thirty-five of your precious dollars over a starving child in Africa?

Okay, first of all, there are children starving on other continents, too. Like, I’m at least 20% sure of that. And secondly, yes. I am giving $35 to Millionaire Kristen Bell, because in exchange for those $35, she’s going to play my favorite character of all time in a movie that doesn’t exist yet. I’m going to get to see that movie, legally, on my laptop as soon as it premieres. And I also get a nifty t-shirt to show the people of the Universe that I like it when snarky teenagers solve crimes.

This is because Kickstarter is not a charity. I’m a Big Fan of these Creators, so I gave them my Money in Exchange for Goods and Services that only they can provide. To me, it was worth $35 to ensure that this movie will exist. Furthermore, if the movie had funded through the traditional model, I still would have probably purchased the movie ticket, the DVD, and the t-shirt — all of which would have added up to more than $35, easily.

For the record, no one has yet put such a question to me, despite the half-dozen Kickstarters (and a couple of projects funded along similar lines) on which I’ve spent Actual Money, but this is the stock response I have prepared:

“Actually, my charity of choice helps the mentally deficient cope with today’s complex society. How much did you say you needed?”

It’s almost as satisfying as “Sphincter says what?”


  1. McGehee »

    2 May 2013 · 2:50 pm

    Are you really going to give [name of allegedly unworthy recipient] thirty-five of your precious dollars over a starving child in Africa?

    “They are, as you say, my precious dollars. If I were taking them from you to give to [name of allegedly unworthy recipient], you’d have a right to speak to me about it. Now kindly go and perform an anatomical impossibility on yourself.”

  2. Roger Green »

    3 May 2013 · 3:38 am

    There are people who will criticize whatever one does. I ride my bike part of the way to work and put it on the bus the rest of the way, and there’s one particular person who complains why I don’t ride further (time, I don’t want to be too sweaty, the road is unsafe for bicyclists are some of the answers but I don’t feel the need to give them)

  3. fillyjonk »

    3 May 2013 · 7:36 am

    I once had someone make a snarky comment at me because I was buying a box of Oreos. (Concern troll, in real life.)

    People are stupid sometimes.

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