Can we get that paneling in tortoise-shell?

Sure, if it’s death paneling:

Federal funds are running out at the Desert Tortoise Conservation Center and officials plan to close the site and euthanize hundreds of the tortoises they’ve been caring for since the animals were added to the endangered species list in 1990.

“It’s the lesser of two evils, but it’s still evil,” said U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service desert tortoise recovery coordinator Roy Averill-Murray during a visit to the soon-to-be-shuttered reserve at the southern edge of the Las Vegas Valley last week.

Not evil enough to get him to refuse to take part in this charade, obviously.

And you have to figure, the Feds historically are a lot more concerned with endangered species than they are with the likes of you and me, so when our time is deemed to have come — well, let’s just say that it gets hot out there in the middle of noplace.

(Via the still-alive Brian J. Noggle.)


  1. fillyjonk »

    28 August 2013 · 7:05 am


    They’re *tortoises*. Can’t they drive them out to the desert and, you know, let them go? Sure, maybe some may die, but I think giving them a fighting chance beats this. I mean, surely there’s still enough desert.

    Or, they could take a page from the Mustang people, and adopt them out. (And yeah, I get that turning the things into pets raises ethical questions and all….but just killing them?)

  2. Mark Alger »

    28 August 2013 · 8:47 am

    So… Just leaving them alone is not an option? Damn! The Democrats even oppress ANIMALS, now.

    They just GOTTA futz with you.


  3. McGehee »

    28 August 2013 · 9:14 am

    The excuse is undoubtedly that the tortoises have become habituated to humans, which means if they release them in the desert they’ll find their way back to civilization in thirty or forty years, raiding people’s garbage cans and carrying off small pets.

    The argument fails because what they’ve become habituated to is government employees. Not the same thing at all.

  4. Jeffro »

    28 August 2013 · 3:34 pm

    Don’t worry. The government knows what is best for us. They always do, and they always fix everything.

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