Opening remarks

Truly a grabber:

As the sun dropped below the horizon, the safari guide confirmed the approaching cape buffaloes were herbivores, which calmed everyone in the group, except for Herb, of course.

A wonderful story opening by Ron D. Smith, which inexplicably did not win the 2013 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.

Then again, Chris Wieloch did himself proud with this one, which did:

She strutted into my office wearing a dress that clung to her like Saran Wrap to a sloppily butchered pork knuckle, bone and sinew jutting and lurching asymmetrically beneath its folds, the tightness exaggerating the granularity of the suet and causing what little palatable meat there was to sweat, its transparency the thief of imagination.

Sounds like the detective has been hitting the sauce, and I mean A.1 Sauce.

This competition always leaves me in something of a funk, since my own story openings are never, ever terrible enough.


  1. Nicole »

    3 September 2013 · 8:10 pm

    Those are both good. The pork knuckle takes the prize though. They chose well.

  2. McGehee »

    4 September 2013 · 8:18 am

    Shamus needs to quit whatever crash diet he’s on. Yeesh.

  3. Charles Pergiel »

    4 September 2013 · 2:26 pm

    Herbivore. Heh.

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