Against her grain

Miriam samples a loaf of bread from Whole Paycheck Foods:

I was going to say it tastes nasty, but that would be unjust. It doesn’t taste nasty; it doesn’t taste like anything. It is the anti-taste. If you make a tuna fish sandwich out of it, it kills the taste of the tuna fish. Likewise with egg salad. You can’t taste the butter on your buttered toast. And you can’t taste the bacon on a BLT. Criminal!

Oh, surely it must have some flavor:

Well, when I was a child in school I used to chew on Faber #2 pencils. This bread tastes sort of like that. Without the lead, of course.

Too bad. Graphite is gluten-free.


  1. Tatyana »

    21 September 2013 · 12:00 pm

    …and if you compact it sufficiently in your stomach you can – in theory – get a diamond from the other end!

  2. CGHill »

    21 September 2013 · 12:11 pm

    “When are you going to buy me a ring?” she demanded.

    “In good time,” he said. “Would you pass me another Ticonderoga?”

  3. Mark Alger »

    21 September 2013 · 11:21 pm

    Before clicking the link, I’m betting she’s describing brown rice flour bread.


  4. Mark Alger »

    21 September 2013 · 11:23 pm

    Oh, well, 7 grains. That ain’t got much SPAM — er, brown rice flour — in it.


  5. CGHill »

    21 September 2013 · 11:50 pm

    Braum’s (a regional dairy store) has an excellent 9-grain bread, which they have the audacity to sell for a meager buck seventy-nine. I had a fit of at least moderate hissiness when I thought it might be discontinued.

RSS feed for comments on this post