One of those diastolical schemes

This tissue of organic fertilizer, with the absurd (but guaranteed click-bait) title “1 weird food that KILLS blood pressure,” showed up 14 times in my email box yesterday:

“You’re going to have a stroke or a heart attack before you leave this building.”

That’s what the nurse told my dad.

She had just checked his blood pressure and it was a deadly 155/90.

When I heard the news, my mind raced back to my own blood pressure scare just a few short years before.

Thankfully, after some frantic research, I had stumbled upon an all-natural blood pressure fix that normalized my blood pressure in a matter of weeks.

Which wouldn’t help someone about to leave the building, of course, but hey, this is spam; you’re not supposed to notice the contradictions.

Incidentally, I’ve been occasionally as high as 155/90; last I looked, I wasn’t dead, or anything close to it.

I remember when they told my dad he had six months to live, tops. And sure enough, six years later, that’s what he had.


  1. fillyjonk »

    17 March 2014 · 10:19 am

    WTF? My bp measured 160/90 at my doctor’s once and she didn’t immediately hospitalize me or anything. (She did take it again at the end of the appointment; it had gone down a bit).

    Wouldn’t telling someone “your blood pressure is so high you’re going to stroke out” actually be counterproductive? I know for me that would only make it go higher.

  2. CGHill »

    17 March 2014 · 11:49 am

    The rationale here seems to be that there’s no money in trying to scare people who are already sick; the real suckers are the people who aren’t sick but are afraid they might be.

  3. fillyjonk »

    18 March 2014 · 8:29 am

    I also sometimes wonder if the same conspiracy theory that some women talk about is in operation here. The “woman” version of it is: “When women begin to make strides in the workplace/politics/business, make a big big deal out of fashion/slimness/looks/whatever to distract them so you can squash them back down.”

    If a person is distracted by chasing after the “one weird herb” that might fix them (except it won’t), they don’t pay as much attention to what’s going on in the bigger world. (Though I think you should never attribute to a conspiracy theory what simple greed can explain)

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