Needs an eye-bleach dispenser

Nissan, perhaps due to rubbing up against corporate cousin Renault for all these years, always seems to have a weird mix of genuinely handsome and downright fugly vehicles. I drive a 14-year-old Infiniti sedan which I think is at least acceptable-looking (apart from a really dumb aftermarket spoiler), especially considering the atrocities that have been vended in this size class in recent years in the name of fuel economy/aerodynamics/designer perversity. On the other side of the divide is the Juke utelet, of which Car and Driver said: “There are no logical reasons for it to look the way it does, so clearly drawn without conventional aesthetic considerations in mind.” And they liked it.

The revised Infiniti QX80, née QX56, née Nissan Patrol, may get similarly blistered in the press. At TTAC, Cameron Miquelon made no particular observation about its appearance, other than to note that the hood was “massive.” However, Michael Zak at Autoblog brought out the pejoratives:

[I]t’s hard to call this SUV anything but ugly. It’s bulbous and almost brutish, which aren’t generally words you want to have to use when talking about any kind of luxury vehicle.

Or even Lincolns.

On the basis that you should be able to make this fine judgment call on your own, here’s the new QX80, as seen at the New York auto show:

2015 Infiniti QX80

No amount of ethanol could persuade me that this thing is desirable. (Your mileage, of course, may vary.) Then again, the driver only has to look at the inside of it, except when refueling — which, given the size of this thing, he’ll be doing rather frequently.


  1. Nicole »

    18 April 2014 · 7:39 pm

    I cop to thinking the Jukes are cute. That thing is grotesque.

  2. CGHill »

    18 April 2014 · 7:56 pm

    From the Aspirational Vehicles Department: apparently Nissan built a couple of Jukes with GT-R powertrains, just for S&G. (No, not Simon & Garfunkel.)

  3. Charles Pergiel »

    18 April 2014 · 7:57 pm

    At least nobody is calling it anuran.

  4. JT »

    18 April 2014 · 10:00 pm

    The QX seems to go through these bad/good phases. The first one was downright fuglyugly. The QX56 is pretty decent looking though.

  5. Nicole »

    18 April 2014 · 10:22 pm

    Ah the GT-R. A car of our dreams around here. It’ll never happen, but we can dream. :) And I love the Top Gear write up. I can just hear the English accents.

  6. CGHill »

    18 April 2014 · 10:51 pm

    My favorite of the bunch is the QX50, born the EX35 and still basically a G wagon with a four-inch lift.

  7. Jeffro »

    19 April 2014 · 2:21 am

    The driver of the QX80 might not be stopping for fuel as often as you’d think – it’s got a 26 gal tank. It’ll hurt more at each stop. Disclosure: the F150 I purchased has 32 gal tanks.

  8. CGHill »

    19 April 2014 · 11:46 am

    He’ll stop often enough. This thing weighs way on the wrong side of 5000 lb; it might get 20 mpg on the highway. On a straightaway. With a tail wind. Downhill. On the planet Mars.

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