On the upside, it’s nontoxic

Breathes there the man with soul so dead, who never to himself hath said, “Wouldn’t it be great if I had an extra inch or two?” Now I wouldn’t know, personally, but vendors of dingus-embiggenment stuff have reason to think there’s a customer born every minute:

A man who purchased a penis enlargement device online had a rude shock when he received a magnifying glass instead of the device he thought he had purchased.

MCA Public Service and Complaint Bureau chairman Datuk Seri Michael Chong said Tuesday that the disgruntled customer, known only as Ong from Seri Kembangan, had paid RM450 for the penis enlarger.

“When he received the package, he was shocked to find a magnifying glass inside. The instructions that came with the package merely read ‘Do not use in sunlight’,” he said.

Not that Ong is likely to get any satisfaction out of this incident:

Lawyer Alex Kok said that unsatisfied customers who wished to sue these scammers would find it difficult to do so due to the dubious nature of the business.

And you have to figure that it’s cheaper than putting a curved mirror on the ceiling and stenciling it with the legend ITEMS ARE LARGER THAN THEY APPEAR.

(Via Fark.)


  1. fillyjonk »

    5 June 2014 · 10:50 am

    Snerk. Snerk, snerk, snerk.

    (“Do not use in sunlight” BAH HA HA HA HA HA HA)

  2. Trumwill »

    5 June 2014 · 3:48 pm

    Did you ever see Trial & Error? It involves a court case for fraud that involves a man selling something like Copper-embossed something-something of Abraham Lincoln.

    He was selling pennies for $25.

    The movie was theoretically a Michael Richards vehicle, but Rip Torn (who played the con man) had the scene that stole the show.

  3. Roger Green »

    6 June 2014 · 3:00 am

    Damn you. Because of your first sentence, I now have This Is My Country, learned in high school, stuck in my head. Thanks for nothing, Chas.

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