Old phones never die

Well, okay, they do, but mine hasn’t, and, well, I refuse to play Mr Hardware Early Adopter Guy for Apple, especially if it involves getting involved with AT&T.


The iPhone is the trophy wife of the cellular world. It’s gorgeous to look at, interesting and amusing at parties, but at the end of the day it’s going to fark your gardener, take your money, and leave you unfulfilled.

None of these features is worth the expense to me, and I speak as someone who just ordered a lawn mower off Amazon.com, fercrissake.


  1. Dwayne "the canoe guy" »

    2 July 2007 · 11:10 am

    I thought the iphone wasn’t supposed to fark the gardener until version 2.1 came out. Or is it iFark the iGardener i?

  2. CGHill »

    2 July 2007 · 11:24 am

    Fark if iKnow.

  3. Mister Snitch! »

    2 July 2007 · 11:58 am

    Somebody lash Charles to the mast… he’s hearing the siren’s (cell phone) call…

  4. Matt »

    2 July 2007 · 7:32 pm

    I got one because I felt I had to, since it’s obviously hijacking a lot of the news that my professional life is about. I was grumbling most of the way, expecting to have a an expensive device so I could understand it, not use it, because I don’t like cell phones. They don’t work in my house, they’re hard to use, the concept of a “smart” phone is an oxymoron through every one I’d ever tried, from Sony Ericcson back to the original VisorPhone.

    And I was wrong. I love it. It works in every room of my house, something no cell phone has ever done. It syncs better than any phone or even iPod I’ve ever had. Wi-Fi is fast, and EDGE is just fine. At least 80% the time, the first way I try to do something is exactly how you do it.

    If you’re happy with your existing phones, iPhone probably has little appeal to you. Me, I’ve never had a cellphone I liked past the first two days, until now. This really is a game changer for me, and I didn’t expect that. I expected to use it solely for debunking stupid news reports about it, but I’m not only using it, i’m liking it a lot.

  5. CGHill »

    2 July 2007 · 7:56 pm

    How’s your network speed? Most of the pundits I’ve seen have grumbled about this, while generally praising the actual hardware.

  6. Mister Snitch! »

    2 July 2007 · 10:17 pm

    Word is AT&T upped their network speed around fivefold in the days before the launch. Also, the reason Jobs used the slower network is because, in its current confiration, the 3G network sucks down power too quickly. It was a tradeoff of speed vs. battery life. Besides which, theoretically the iPhone swicthes over to (faster than 3G) Wifi whenever it finds a network.

    Daring Fireball has been following all this pretty closely. So has Kottke (but Fireball links to him when it finds a nugget).

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