Sauron will be displeased

Threat assessment just ain’t what it used to be:

A Kermit [Texas] parent said his fourth-grade student was suspended Friday for allegedly making a terroristic threat.

His father, Jason Steward, said the family had been to see The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies last weekend. His son brought a ring to his class at Kermit Elementary School and told another boy his magic ring could make the boy disappear.

Steward said the principal said threats to another child’s safety would not be tolerated — whether magical or not. Principal Roxanne Greer declined to comment on the matter.

Kid clearly is lacking ambition. This is One Ring to Rule Them All, not just One Ring to Make The Classmate Vanish.

(Via io9.)


  1. fillyjonk »

    2 February 2015 · 9:14 am

    Makes you wonder if the school officials are really that stupid, or if the kid is just enough of a holy terror that they want to trump up some charge to get rid of him?

    Fourth grade is 10 years old. Anyone who still believes that a magic ring exists that can make them disappear….. Well, I suppose the people who respond to 419 scams have to come from SOMEWHERE.

  2. McGehee »

    2 February 2015 · 9:35 am

    One does not simply walk into Kermit.

  3. miniapplejack »

    2 February 2015 · 1:43 pm

    Now, if it was the one ring that fixes parking tickets, I’d be interested.

  4. David Richard »

    2 February 2015 · 9:11 pm

    Bilbo’s ring, in The Hobbit (story, not movies), is simply a playful invisibility ring. All the portents and shadows surrounding the ring don’t come until the Fellowship.

    And progress continues on developing a working invisibility cloak

    So why not a ring?

  5. CGHill »

    2 February 2015 · 9:40 pm

    Trust me, if one goes on sale, I am there with my life savings, Jack. :)

  6. fillyjonk »

    3 February 2015 · 6:13 am

    As a nearly-46-year-old woman, I’m not sure I see the big deal about “invisibility”…..

    this is some kind of locker-room fantasy thing, isn’t it?

  7. CGHill »

    3 February 2015 · 7:00 am

    In some regards, indisputably. I got all kinds of complaints on a listserv about Mindy Kaling’s Superb Owl ad, in which she thinks she’s invisible because others ignore her; the grousers were upset because they could see her.

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