Toy collector? Nut-uh, says Jack Baruth. You’re a box collector:
It’s the boxes that really matter because you want the toy to be new in the box and such a condition has the dual conditions of
- in the box
which means that even the best-condition action figure or Shogun Warrior or Star Bird™ isn’t worth a whole lot unless you have the box. Note that children, for whom toys used to be made, don’t care about the boxes and throw them out immediately. The box is a sort of meta-item for adult collectors, the secondary market. As such, box collecting is a prime symptom of disconnection from the true purpose of the toy. The child plays with the toy; the adult collects the box. It should be immediately apparent to anyone with any soul left whatsoever that the child is the moral and intellectual superior of the adult in this case and that collecting boxes is a miserable, repugnant pursuit in which your humble author only engages pretty much, um, all the time.
This suggests two alternative methods of saving your soul: making your own, in which case there is no box, or buying fanwork say, a custom pony whose only box is an anonymous shipping container.