Is there no more room?

The Kraft-Heinz merger, I figured, was no big deal, other than creating a combined company with a name that sounded like a Seventies German band. But this alarms me:

A financial analyst has suggested that Jell-O may not survive the new merger between Kraft Food Group Inc. (which makes it) and H. J. Heinz Co. and “could be axed.”

Cue a shiver of despair.

It’s hard to remember a time before Jell-O. (On the other hand, perhaps it’s almost as hard to remember the last time you made it.)

“Hard” doesn’t even begin to describe it; Jell-O goes back to 1897.

Over the years, it has been served in thousands of church basements, enabled millions of liquor-laced shots at college parties, provided the concoction in which bikini-clad women wrestle.

Actually, Jell-O wrestling doesn’t involve Jell-O, but a similar product designed specifically for the ring; but don’t tell your friends that.

And the Jell-O name will survive, even if the gelatin dessert itself doesn’t: by now, there are more flavors of Jell-O Pudding than there are of Jell-O itself.

5 comments

  1. Roger Green »

    28 April 2015 · 8:25 am

    BOOO!

  2. ms7168 »

    28 April 2015 · 9:49 am

    I make a couple of Jell-O salads that are quite good. I would definitely miss it.

    I have also noticed the plethora of pudding.

  3. Lynn »

    28 April 2015 · 10:04 am

    You’re going to believe a financial analyst?

  4. Jennifer »

    28 April 2015 · 10:30 am

    Jell-O was my nickname for years since my initials were JLO.
    And there is your random bit of Jennifer trivia for today.

  5. fillyjonk »

    28 April 2015 · 1:03 pm

    I predict if they stop carrying the brand, they’ll put the name up for sale, earn a lot of money off it, and Jell-o will still be made, just by someone different.

    I think Royal Gelatin still exists, but if it’s still like it was when I was a kid, it was clearly an “imposter” brand.

    (I haven’t eaten Jell-o in years. Not the kind of thing a single cook bothers to make for themselves…)

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