Strange search-engine queries (483)

Now that you’ve had your fill of welterweights for a while, here’s the most lightweight blog feature of them all: the weirdest-looking search strings that landed on this particular Web site in the recent past. Won’t cost you a ridiculous sum to observe, either.

if i was kaiser willheims batman:  I’d expect you to give out with a Wilhelm Scream before too long.

rebecca black person of interest mp3 audio song download song lover and full album for rebecca black:  You’re starting to repeat yourself here. So far, there is no “full album” from Rebecca Black. Wait until Friday.

dodie smith proust:  Author of that incredibly long literary classic whose opening section is titled Dalmatian’s Way.

video mesum john peter everly:  Um, that’s “museum.” And probably “Don” and “Phil.”

where have all the hydrocodones gone:  Gone to 12th Street, every one. When will you ever learn?

mercury mystique transmission problems:  Um, this car is at least 15 years old. What were you expecting?

taking a shellacking:  All else being equal, you’d rather be giving a shellacking.

the saddest thing in the whole wide world is almost:  Having to listen to people fight their middle-school wars into their forties and fifties.

calf falsies:  Vegans are fooled at least 10 percent of the time. Thank you, you’ve been very kind. Try the imitation veal.

Real anal virgins between 18 and 20 years of age earn lettuce by:  Beats me. How about the muff endive?

Best PSA Ever:  The one that says you probably don’t have cancer.

Blogosphere backdrop:  Imagine a boot stomping on a cheap keyboard — forever.

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