Strange search-engine queries (487)

The time has come to modify this format a bit. With new logs from StatCounter and the incorporation of Google’s Webmaster Tools, search data are now much more easily analzyed, but the search string and the URL which doesn’t contain it anymore — both Google and Yahoo! are routinely encrypting search data — are no longer easily associated with one another. Reasoning that no one was actually clicking on the original URL in the first place, I have decided simply to leave the links off. (Links will seem to appear, for visual continuity, but they go nowhere.)

manny has been a coffee drinker since he started college three years ago. now he realizes that anytime he smells coffee when he enters a nearby starbucks he starts to feel more alert and awake even before he takes his first sip of coffee. this is an example of:  How we are in thrall to the vendors of Things Not Necessarily Good For Us.

mongoose web server:  Apparently not written in the Cobra programming language.

if you shopped at target from november 27 through december 18:  Your personal data is now being shopped in Central Europe, and bringing less money than you think it’s worth.

taylor swift sweat:  $95 an ounce at better retailers everywhere.

overlord of flies:  Mosquitoes, though they have more immediate needs, bloodsuckers that they are.

maria bartiromo legs pantyhose pics:  What’s the matter, screenshots aren’t good enough for you?

professional umbrage taker:  There are a lot of such these days, though as always they’re outnumbered by the rank amateurs, some of whom are pretty darn rank.

why do i repel guys:  Maybe you take too doggone much umbrage. Or maybe you just don’t have legs like Maria Bartiromo.

if a blighted urban neighborhood were to suddenly develop an assortment of upscale restaurants:  Gentrification would ensue, and the poorer residents would be squeezed out.

christopher is considering breaking up with his high-school sweetheart. he spends many hours weighing the benefits and drawbacks:  And then it occurs to him that he’s 42 years old and probably shouldn’t be dating high-school girls in the first place.

poem I hope you’re not disappointed:  But if you are — hey, no refunds.

“I own a nudist”:  Then it’s a good thing that summer’s coming, am I right?


  1. Dan Tobias »

    1 June 2015 · 7:48 am

    It’s “some of whom”. I take umbrage at your grammar.

  2. CGHill »

    1 June 2015 · 8:03 am


  3. McGehee »

    1 June 2015 · 12:12 pm

    I don’t take umbrage. The local CVS only has a store-brand generic.

  4. backwoods conservative »

    1 June 2015 · 1:08 pm

    The mosquitoes are hoping the guy who owns a nudist acquires a few more of them.

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