Strange search-engine queries (488)

Once a year, a small but substantial segment of the population wonders if one thoroughbred can win the three biggest races of the year. Meanwhile, once a week, I wonder if I can find a dozen funny search strings in the log. Don’t bother placing your bets.

god “but when he moves, he moves quickly”:  Like who’s gonna stop God? Not me.

but your lovin don’t pay my bills pic:  Cut to picture of stack of bills going unpaid, and wonder how sex makes a difference.

Pics of nude apeman and wife sexing wild in the jungle and wrestling:  After that, I’m ready to look at a stack of unpaid bills.

fear of boobs:  In that case, you might not want to stare at the apeman’s wife.

points a and b are on opposites sides of wewoka lake. from a third point:  You want to summon help, because you shouldn’t have been out in this weather, what with everything flooded and all.

popeye’s fried chicken just took out an 8 percent interest-only loan of $50:  What, did they run out of biscuits or something?

worst eurovision outfits:  Are generally indistinguishable from the best Eurovision outfits.

taylor swift armpit hair:  This explains “nightmare dressed like a daydream,” anyway.

spoiler on back of car:  Well, it would be pointless to put one on the front of the car.

is the knowledge that the self is in prison, its vital force and ‘mangled mind’ leaking away in lonely, wasteful self-conflict:  Fortunately, you can always start a #hashtag on Twitter.

iraq was formerly known as:  A hell of a lot quieter than it is now.

larry derryberry hairy fairy query:  Now that’s scary.


  1. backwoods conservative »

    8 June 2015 · 8:15 am

    I’ve heard that the reason rednecks do it dog style is so they can both watch wrestling on TV. I suppose the same applies to the apeman and his wife.

    The thing that surprises me is that they have a TV in the jungle.

  2. lcb »

    8 June 2015 · 8:52 am

    Well, it would be pointless to put one on the front of the car.

    Oh contraire…a spoiler on the front keeps air from getting under the car and flipping it. All modern race cars have them, you just don’t always recognize them when you see them… :-)

  3. CGHill »

    8 June 2015 · 8:56 am

    That’s an air dam. (Like a MacPherson strut out back is a Chapman strut.)

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